A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,I am 30 year old woman and I have bein single for most of my life, happily single I should say. I had my first kiss at 15, lost my virginity at 18. These were two kinda isolated events more like a box to tick, virginity gone what's next, I've never sky dived kinda thing. Not that I didn't enjoy it i did, I didn't love him I difintly fancied him do. He moved away shortly after I wasn't broken hearted at all. After that I've randomly hooked up with a few guys from 18 to 23 I would say maby 6 guys total, by hooked up I'm talking one night stand. While I wanted to take them home at the time, I think it was more I wanted to be like all my friends who were boy crazy. But after hooking up with these guys I cud never see them again I was just too embarrassed I cudnt speak to them I just wanted them to leave and never see them again, even if we had a great time together. It was like after sex I didn't know how to act or be in there company. When I was 23 I slept with a very close guy friend. He had always made it clear he wanted to be with me but was so worried about getting weird after I always knocked back his advances as I really like him. Plus he was a major player. It was totally different with him I didn't feel weird after we ad sex, so we had alot of sex we stared going out and moved in together straight away. It was intense I had never felt so open sexually and wanted it all the time, I difintly smothered him. We lasted two years and the break up was hard. While I knew we needed to split i found it so hard to physically stop wanting him we spent another year hooking up after we broke up. I would honestly compare tryin to stop my self from sleeping with him like, trying to stop doing drugs. At the time I thought I loved him and I couldn't stop but now with distance I can see it was all about the sex I had stopped wanting him as a boyfriend long before. Luckily for me he moved away and I eventually got back to normal. I've being single again for over 4 years and am very happy. I've had a couple one night stands but just like before I feel totally weird after. I almost had something with a guy friend who lives abroad but I think I'm scared now of the intensity of a relationship. I'm definitely am an all or nothing type of person. I would love to casually date someone but that just feels so wrong to me, it's either love, fire, passion or its friend ship end of. I don't even know if I've a question here guess I wana know if anyone else has a problem like this. Maby I'm some kinda repressed sex addict or something I dont know??
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broke up, drugs, lost my virginity, moved in, one night stand, player, sex addict Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 March 2017):
 It's clear you don't like one night stands, so I don't think you should keep doing them. It's very unlikely you're a sex addict because you don't seem to crave it like one would.
Go dating, if that's what you want to focus on. Perhaps therapy would help with the smothering issue, though.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 March 2017):
 We can't diagnose you, OP
My guess is that, NO you are not a sex addict (repressed or otherwise), but I think you have issues with bonding and commitment issues. That is why you can have ONS but nothing more.
Maybe you should consider talking to a therapist?
Or just accept that YOU prefer to be single and have ONS when you feel like that? Some people are not interested in a relationship but they still like sex. If you are happy with your life, what's the real problem? Other people's expectations of you? Or do you feel you "ought" to be like "everyone" else?
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