A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok. I have been wondering about this for a long time...I think Im a lesbian. I have a crush on a girl at school and have for a year. But I have always been attracted to girls since primary school. I really like big hands too. I also like short hair. In primary school I used to ask boys out so I could fit in with my friends. I have had a boyfriend but we were more like friends.Also In primary school I wanted to draw some breasts at school. i also played a strip game with a girl.I dress in dresses and skirts sometimes but prefer shorts because they are more pracitcal. I listen to alternative music.I like comedies.I just want to know really badly my sexuality.Everyone is saying wait till you are older and its just a phase.When I have sexual thoguhts they are mainly about females and those feelings are really strong but with guy sexual thoughts its either nothing or really faint.If I am a lesbian I do not fit the stereotype for what they look like but I do have a deeper than most girls voice.Thanks
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female
reader, openmind  +, writes (29 October 2009):
Geeze kid you have alot to learn. You do not wake up in the morning and say OMG I like comidies and wearing shorts Im a HOMO!!! Being a lesbian myslef i must show you the error of your ways sterotypes are a bunch of BULLSHIT. That is not how you test your sexuality. I strongly reccomend experimenting with some ladies and seeing how you feel that is the only way to ever know for sure ignore sterotypes and listen to your heart my young friend. If you find out you are CONGRATS and welcome to the team! If not so what you got some new experiences along the way. Dont lable yourself yet all you need is your moment of truth with another woman to know if you are or are not so go out there and GET IT and pleas let me know how things work out and if you have any other questions DO NOT hesitate to ask me!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): I don't know that much about being gay since Im straight but the woman I see on and off again currently is bi and from what I understand you just need to figure out for yourself who you like and what sort of relationship you want with them.The gender should come after that. If it turns out your gay then don't be scared it doesn't mean you're weird. And you cant really tell just from some descriptions.My cousin, yeah thought he was gay until I found him in bed with my best friend (girl).
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A
male
reader, Spiralvector +, writes (21 October 2009):
 “but prefer shorts because they are more pracitcal. I listen to alternative music. I like comedies.”It seems I might be a lesbian too…Find someone who you love on the inside and are attracted to. Don’t sweat the gender. There will be problems with any relationship. Work through them.Should a time come when coming out is scary I offer this:My friend is gay, about 10 years ago he came out to all of us, his group of friends. I’m sorry to report, nobody cared :P. No drama, nobody thought less or more of him. All that worry for nothing. I’m sure its not always that easy, but the people who truly care for you will support you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Tbh, only you can know what sex preference you like
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): It might be tempting to place a label on yourself when you're first trying to figure out your identity, but don't be in such a rush!
You like women. You are sexually attracted to them. If you are only attracted to women, you might call yourself a lesbian. You might say that you're not sure what you are, but you can be pretty sure that you like women! Remember, not all women who date other women are lesbians. It sounds to me like you might be, but don't pressure yourself into choosing a label so quickly.
Also, remember, being a lesbian has nothing to do with wearing shorts having short hair, a deep voice, or anything else. A lot of these things are stereotypical of lesbians, but who you are is just who you are! The only thing that impacts whether you are a lesbian or not is who you love and who you are sexually attracted to.
Don't worry about looking or acting "like a lesbian." Lesbians come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. Some lesbians are pretty and feminine and wear skirts and have long hair and like pink, etc, etc, etc. Some lesbians are masculine. Some straight women are masculine. Just be yourself!
If you are 16 or 17, then this is not a phase, though. You are old enough to know who you are attracted to, at this point. Try to embrace the fact that you are attracted to women, don't worry so much about fitting stereotypes, and find yourself some people you can talk to about it. An LGBT club at school like a Gay/Straight Alliance or a LGBT teen group at a local Gay & Lesbian center would be a good place to start. Don't be pressured to have sex or date anyone to help you figure it out, either.
Girl on girl written erotica is a good place to help you explore your sexual desires in a safe way. Literotica.com is one of my personal recommendations. =]
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