A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI need help on whether I should wait for a guy or just move on. here is the story:I recently met a man at a summer job who I began to have strong feeling for. When i chose to voice these, he reciprocated them, saying he felt a strong connection between us. Despite him breaking up with his girlfriend that day, we began a sexual relationship which continued for a few days. He then went on a previously booked holiday t France, but neglected to tell me that he took his ex with him. Upon his return he was extremely sorry and said that he had wanted to make it work between them but that it hadn't. I was very upset but chose to forgive him. He officially ended things with her the next day and I was overjoyed that he had chosen to be with me. However the next evening he went to see her and told me that he needed to give them another chance as he didn't want to let her go.I am devastated. I really felt that we had a strong connection and i cannot believe that he had no real feeling for me, as he was extremely cut up about what he had put us through. I had made clear that i appreciated honesty and if our relationship was purely sexual that would be fine as long as i was informed. however he repeatedly assured me that he felt deeply for me.so the problem I'm facing is whether to wait for him and see what happens. He has asked us to meet in a few months and see where things are at. I believe his relationship will fail, and I think so does he, deep down.am I a fool to wait? are all men really just liars when they treat a woman like this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2014): I think he is using you. The girlfriend is still very much in the picture. Do you want to be his backup should his relationship fail because that is was is happening. You are choosing to see his good side in this but look at it from the other side. He looks like someone who is taking advantage of you -sadly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 September 2014):
 What you felt and what HE felt may not have been the same. He felt LUST, you felt affection & lust.
First of all, you started something up with a guy who had a GF, YOUR fault. (and his, no doubt) But KNOWINGLY getting involved with a "taken" guy is nothing but potential drama and in your case, heartache.
He "forgot" to tell you that the trip to France was pre-planned with the EX. Right..... He CHOSE not to tell you, because I sincerely doubt he had actually broken up with her. Because WHAT girl would want to go with her cheating skanky ex-bf on vacation? Seriously? To "work" it out? No. I don't believe that. No guy can be that dense. No girl either.
I don't think he WANTS his relationship with his GF to fail. I think he wants it to work VERY much. Otherwise, the trip to France would have been a solo trip or cancelled.
I think YOU should look back at your OWN actions here and absorb the lesson. It wasn't a nice lesson for you, I bet it hurt to be toyed with, used and then discarded (and yes, THAT is what he did to you, he just added a lot of pretty words too).
And consider this, IF he was so willing to CHEAT on his GF with YOU, if you started dating him, HOW soon do you think it would be before he would cheat on you? OR do you think you are "better" than the GF and he wouldn't CHEAT on you? If so, you are wrong. A guy who is willing to cheat in a committed relationship (girls too) will do it again given the chance. UNLESS they realize how BADLY they hurt the partner they love and even then, how trustworthy are they?
Next time you met a lovely dude with a GF, don't get involved, that goes for married men too. YOU are the only one getting hurt here, well, and the POOR GF who got cheated on.
Find someone SINGLE and available. Someone who can GIVE you all of him, not just some of him.
What he had with you was a summer-fling/fantasy. It FELT SO lovely, except well, he wasn't exactly available.
What he did to his GF was despicable. Even what he did to you wasn't right, however YOU walked into it eyes wide open.
Now LEARN from this.
And do not put your life on hold for some cheating dude you BARELY know. Yeah, it might feel like you had a great connection and he is a lovely dude, but you barely know him. All you know is the BS he fed you.
Think about it. Does his actions match his words? No.
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A
male
reader, Forge +, writes (2 September 2014):
 Sounds to me like this guy has no real idea as to what he's doing. Don't wait for him, it will just get you back to square one, and it's by far going to hurt you more than it will help. Hope with him is lost.
And no, many men are not like this. Actually, most men are the opposite of this guy. He's trash, most men aren't. Don't e.g. that mentality with your life about men. It will ruin life for you.
-Førg€
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 September 2014):
 OK, now, no, all men are not as stupid as this clown appears to be. And, no, you probably ought not to wait around for 'his highness' to check back in with you. This idiot will only bring you down again. Find a guy with more respect for women in general.
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