A
male
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anonymous
writes:PRELUDEIt appears I was born blind, or so it seems to me. My brain gets a little selective when it comes to picking up signals from the women I'm attracted to. It's a horrible handicap to have, and all the more frustrating when your friends give you that look of absolutely stupor "Are you blind?""Yea, I am!" It's happened before and I really haven't seem to have drawn anything from it. Sadly I'm just as blind.THE SITUATIONSo, I just got back from watching a buddy's gig tonight where, from our circle of friends, it was simply me and my object of attraction. We grabbed two stools off to the side and later on these...got close. This is the part where, for yours truly, things get pitch black. This is where I would love any insights you may have. I will simply list what little I picked up on.- She reached over to touch my forearm many times as we chatted- Leaned in close to talk (Was that just because of the music? I don’t know)- Moved her legs over to mine- I reciprocated all this...- She's always smiling and laughing as she usually does...- Paid me compliments and teased me all nightWe meet back in September, in a class. Since this ended at Christmas, encounters have been less frequent. About 2-3 months ago both of us broke off our respective relationships. Hers was a much more serious engagement. She just called me, as I’m writing this, and we are meeting Wednesday after her work. I remain incredulous. Isn’t it possible that she just wants to be friends and I’m reading too much into this? Maybe she’s just a friendly girl? Admittedly, that sounds a “little” stupid but since I tend not to read enough into things and I’d like to offer my interpretation up for your scrutiny.Please refrain from starting off with “You blind fool” or “You little dreamer”Thank you
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (17 May 2006):
 Thats no problem my friend, I am glad and I am sure I speak for others when I say that we are happy to help!!! Good luck with everything. xXx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, all of you really helped me out.
I guess I chickened out a little - maybe it's that or maybe it's the fact that my boss was only a few feet away from me when I was on the phone with her tonight. I never did use the word 'date'.
I was working late tonight, but I wanted to call and try to slip that word in before tomorrow but sadly that never happened given...the circumstances and/or my tied tongue. So I asked her where she’d like to go tomorrow. She “didn’t know, up to you”…
-“Well, really it depends on what it takes to impress [her name]”
-A little laughter on her part
-“…do you feel like dinner or maybe cake and coffee?”
-“Umm, cake and coffee sounds…”
…and so we agreed on a place and so on, and in the end I couldn’t help but wonder what just happened. Did it mean something that she preferred coffee over dinner? Did I even learn anything from this call? I go out alone with my friends (girls) for cake and coffee all the time and that never means anything. Are you blindly taking this too far buddy? She’s a mutual friend of a large portion of my circle of friends, and so I have reason for not wanting this to turn sour. My feelings haven’t made their way onto the grapevine simply because the women that make it up have phenomenally loose lips. It only took a few experiences to understand the imaginary P.A. system that exists between my lips and their ears. :-) That’s life…
I truly appreciate your wonderful advice and the kind time you’ve taken to read in on my story.
I sincerely thank all of you
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (16 May 2006):
Dear reader, here are the things you said and my response in capitals:
- She reached over to touch my forearm many times as we chatted (SHE LIKES YOU)
- Leaned in close to talk (Was that just because of the music? I don’t know)
(NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MUSIC, THE PHYSICAL CLOSENESS OR INTIMACY IS WHAT IS GOING ON HERE)
- Moved her legs over to mine (FLIRTING)
- I reciprocated all this... (GOOD!)
- She's always smiling and laughing as she usually does... (SHE LIKES YOU)
- Paid me compliments and teased me all night (FLIRTING)
HELLO!!!!! Of course she likes you, I mean the first two things are a dead give away, the touching of the forearm is a classic! Seriously,I personally believe that she is attracted to you, if she isnt then she is an incredible actress becauuse all these signs you have listed seem to point to the fact that she likes you. I do wish you all the best and I hope everything works out how you want it to. Keep me posted !!! xXx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 May 2006):
 You blind foo.... umm err...
What you describe are very clear indicators that she is into you! Somehow I think you already knew that.
So you have a date on Wednesday. One good way to test the waters is to speak to her before then and refer to it as 'our date' and see how she reacts. Unless she points out that 'it is not a date' then you are on the right track.
When you see her I suggest some outrageous flirting. Then, if you really want to know, try kissing her. Slowly, deliberately, and with the opportunity for her to say no if she wants to. Yes you have to make the first move, yes that can be nerve-wracking, but if I was a gambler I think my money would be safe on you.
One other word of advice. If you really do like her, don't sleep with her too soon. It can work out that way of course, but if you want something to last, getting to know each other first can make a big difference. Besides, men can play hard to get these days too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): She's attracted - you have spotted so many of the signs it seems you know that yourself but for some reason you arent reciprocating. Make sure you turn up the heat next time you see her - it's better to be rejected than wonder what might have been, but it sounds like she is 'gagging for it' to me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2006): I understand your predicament actually. I have picked up on signals from "potentials" before, and it turned out that they were just being friendly. So, I don't think you're a fool. The only way to know for sure is to spend more time with her, and if the signals continue and get stronger, eventually it will be time to go ahead and tell her how your feeling and ask if she feels the same. Good Luck!
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