| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: If i am doing a favour to a woman for the feeling of mercy i get towards her because i think she may be weak in being able to do something that a man can do otherwise, am i being kind or am being chauvinistic? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (7 March 2007):
Helping others is a good thing.
Making others helpless or feel bad is a bad thing.
So, for example, if you always drive the car, and you tell the woman you are doing it for her, because she's a bad driver being a woman, then that would be an example of being chauvanistic.
Helping a shorter person reach something on a higher shelf is being kind and helpful. Women are on average shorter than men and so on average men are more likely to help a woman to reach something. But this is not because the helper is a man and the helpee a woman, but because one is shorter than the other.
The only thing to avoid is assuming that a woman cannot do something, just because she is a woman. Or always helping too quickly so she never gets the chance to learn or try.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): I don't feel any type of gender role played a part in this incident. It's plain to see that this guy was being racist. There was nothing wrong with you giving her support and encouragement to take a stand. Sometimes, people need to know others are behind us when jerks like this racist guy makes disparaging remarks. It gives one strength and confidence. You were being a good friend. I am sure you would have done just as easily for a male co-worker, if he had been facing this type of adversity. So no, you were not being chauvinistic at all. You were merely respecting her as human being and giving her courage to help herself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): Well, i was working at this shop where a girl was facing some racist comments from a male co-worker. I was nearby and stood by her and this gave her some courage to confront the guy. This was one of the acts. But sometimes i feel that when women are able to go out on their own and do work, is this kind of assistance really needed? Or is it just me trying to be a nice guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2007): You may have to write back and tell us more info as to what way you helped this female. But, being chauvinistic is using an unreasonable maliciousness towards a woman and feels superior to her. If you are merely helping a woman because she is physically not as strong as you in a circumstance or helping through an emotional crisis, without any malice or degradation, then no, you aren't being chauvinistic. You are likely being a gentleman.
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