A
female
age
26-29,
*weetest_sin
writes:Last year, me and my boyfriend broke up over a small thing and during this time, my best friend who really enjoyed my boyfriend's company, got involved and she took his side. This of course, broke my heart, because we've been friends for 4 years, around the same time, I've known and dated my boyfriend. I didn't hear from either of them for a week and the following week after, after the encouragement of my other friends to move on, my boyfriend called me up, crying saying he wants me back but something bad happened. He said that my best friend kissed him and arguably, it takes two to tango etc. Taken aback from the phone call, I rang my best friend two days after and at first she tried to lie to me about it, pretending she didn't know what was going on and then I told her what I knew and she didn't deny it. She just heard me crying and then we hung up.Soon, her behaviour around me changed. Although I was hurt from what had happened between them, I still tried to talk to her everyday, but it was getting really hard and I couldn't face the facts that things between me and her will never be the same. Then she started ignoring me in school and gave up meeting me halfway to repatch what we had. During our time of silence, I learned that she spoke ill of me and told some of my friends some family secrets and got them to be on 'her side'. Whereas, my boyfriend was there for me, regardless of what he did and listened and really put in effort to prove that he was wrong and he has changed. I liked that he told me the truth. I really expected my best friend to come forth and do that.There was also an incident, while we were together, that he received a text from my best friend, after she promised me she'd try to stay away from him, that she: 'meant everything she said to him in christmas (she told him she loved him, 3 days before my bday) and that if he's just gonna be with me, it isn't fair on her because she loves him too.' (he doesn't love her back.) I am very hurt that I lost my best friend, because I loved her so much and sometimes, I still look back and miss her but I know in my heart that I probably didn't mean much to her if she did that to me, and if she gave up easily.It's been 8 months since that happened and me and my boyfriend have decided to give it another chance. We've been dating for 3 years now. I honestly don't know if I have forgiven my friend but I'm learning to let her go. She has found a new best friend now, it's just little things bring me back to thinking about her, like on facebook (as we're not friends). She liked a status saying: 'Life's not for arguing and people should be ready to forgive'There's just so many chances you can give to someone...Am I a bad friend for giving up on her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): No, you are not a bad friend. You have done nothing wrong here, she has. I think you have tried to be a wonderful friend to her. Despite what had happened you were prepared to give her another chance and work at patching things up between you. It clearly meant little to her, but you tried and did the best you could.
I think you should try and move on from her now, as I think she will continue to try and cause problems. I am sorry you have lost a friend, but people change, and not always for the better. It sounds very much like she has changed, and is someone you could do with not having in your life now. So try and feel happy and good about yourself for the effort you made and the chance you gave her. And congratulations by the way, that you and your boyfriend are giving things another try. That is great to hear.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 Nope sounds like a crappy best friend to me. She took ur boyfriend's side! Who does that? A back stabbing bestie that's who..Also she lied, talked trashed on u, and tried taking ur ex sorry honey but that deserves a boot to the curb. This friendship is dead for now, unless she decides to grow up and apologize. Which I dont see that happening anytime soon, so just let it go and move on to another best friend. U'll make another trust me! Example: My best friend of 9 years, liked my now ex fiance and talked trash about me to him all the time..(she had a serious bf that turned into a fiance) I couldnt believe my ears so I confronted her and she continued to do it, finally I just told her off and ended the friendship. I didnt need that drama. Now years down the road she sent me a message on facebook congratulating me on my marriage and wants to be friends again. I didnt even bother to reply back bc she's nothin but trouble. Come to find out me ex fiance is her son's godfather. Ha, so my dear some girls just cant be trusted!
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