A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:just need some advise....my ex partner finished with me last august.ever since we broke up he has been coming back to me for sex. we are still good friends though. i found out that i was pregnant in january this year with his child. he was shocked at first but has come to terms with this. he is still sleeping with me even though i am pregnant. the thing is i still love and care for him and a few times i have asked to get back with him but he wont. he has had a girlfriend since the breakup but he isnt seeing anyone at the moment. is there anyway that i can get him back? am i being foolish and being used by him? please help,thanks.
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female
reader, rammsteinfan  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 I feel that once relationships are over, I won't have anything to do with the exs....even though I still have the feelings for them.
When you still had sex with him even though you broke up, he had found another gf....and he was cheating on her with you!!! That should show you that he could have been cheating on you during your relationship with him!! Now you have a baby on the way (congrats that you decided to keep it) Maybe by the baby's birth it might change his attitude, and he might have a sense of responsibilty and decide to do the right thing.
If the arrival of the baby doesn't make him grow up and become a responsible parent then that will show you that he is not a good choice of a permanent relationship. You should think about you and your baby first! You deserve to have a man who has his act together, and cherish you and your baby!! Don't settle on less than that!
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (2 May 2007):
 You need to stop sleeping with him if thats how he feels. You need to start to think about what you are going to do with the pregnancy and less about him.
If I really carwed for someone and found out she was pregnant I would not let something like that get in my way. Is he afriad of the commitment? There is no point in trying to get him back because of the pregnancy, he has to come back for you and that reason only.
You have to stop seeing him and make him see what he is missing and make him think about what he wants. Continuing to sleep with him is giving him the impression and he is getting what he wants without giving you what you want; him.
He has to come back for the right reasons, so force him to see these reasons and stop with the sex. You have a baby to think about now, so start planning ahead and put yourself back in the frame.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2007): I went through the same thing that you are. I had split from a guy but carried on having regular sex with him after hoping to win him back, like you I then fell pregnant. After telling him and getting a not so good response I decided to have a termination which was entirely my choice, without telling him. Although he still thought that I was pregnant the calls/sex stopped. It has been 8 years since I heard from him....I'm glad I didn't wait for him because I know have a wonderful husband and daughter. Looking back on my decision I can honestly say that even though I think about what could have been I know that I have no regrets and I'm truly happy with my life now and wouldn't change it for the world.
My advice to you is that you know deep down what you should do without having to ask others for advice, you know what you need to do about the boy (and to be truthful you need to kick him in to touch) and the baby.
I wish you all the best, good luck and loads of love XXX
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A
female
reader, briegeann +, writes (2 May 2007):
you clearly care for this fella alot,my advice to you would be to continue being friends for the babys sake but not giving into the sex when it suits him because then ur giving him the freedom to do what he wants but also have you as well,so why would he come crawling bk if he has the best of both worlds?sit down and talk to him tell him how you feel,from his reaction youll know whats best to do and where you stand and you wont be confused anymore.Just stay confident and be strong
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