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anonymous
writes: I am divorced and I have been dating this guy for the last four months. I have a son that is 20 months old. I thought everything was going great and he broke up with me, but still wanted to "see" me, and we are having the same relationship that we have always had- like nothing has ever happened. I feel like he just spends time with me whenever he has nothing else going on. I feel like he is playing with me emotions, and all he says is that he needs to find out what he wants. But he tells me that he loves me, so I am not sure what to think.
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reader, joyce +, writes (2 July 2005):
I think when he as nothing better to do it's you he calls. As we say anything is better than nothing! No disrespect meant, just time you told him you are something. Better still, show him. good luck
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (28 March 2005):
 You feel as if he just fits you in when it is convenient for him. Is that true? You need to ask him.Why did he split up with you originally? What were his reasons? Are these the reasons why he doesn't spend as much time as he could with you?What else is going on in his life that means he has to find out what he wants?You need to ask him all this and talk it over with him. If he loves you why did he split from you?It does seem as if he is playing with your emotions and just fitting you in, he could be just using the carrot approach to keep you dangling and waiting for more.You need a bit more information before you can decide what you really want. While he is keeping you in the wings, you could be having a life with someone else and you need to inform him of this.Perhaps you could say to him that you want to be with him but not as a last resort and that if you do feel like this as a result of what he says, that you will have to seriously consider the future.You need to ask yourself whether you really want to be with someone who is likely to put you second all the time when you deserve to be first.I really hope this helps.
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reader, hlyberry3 +, writes (28 March 2005):
DONT sit around waiting for him. Do your thing and don't be avaliable for him at the drop of a hat. If he really loves you and wants you, he will make the time, he will go out of his way. Please don't let yourself become this guys safety blanket when he isn't comfortable.
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