A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I need some help.I met a girl at college and we got on really well we'd talk outside college quite often and she'd even text me when I was at work asking how it was going. Then she found out that one of her friends who's in our friend group likes me and ever since then she's been really distant. I'm trying to start up conversation but after the first reply she doesn't keep the conversation going. Her friend made a joke when she was there about how me and her friend would make a nice couple and I said that she's not my type so she's knows I'm not interested in her friend.I'm almost certain she did like me and I've made it pretty obvious I like her but now I don't know what to do. I'm thinking my best bet is to back off and try to stop myself from texting her in the hope that she'll miss speaking to me and be forced to put the effort in and make the first move. If she doesn't then it obviously wasn't worth it in the first placeI did think it was because she didn't want to upset her friend but its been weeks now and she know I don't like her friend in that way.Any advice would be really useful I don't know what to do. I can't really talk to her about it because I don't want to make it awkward in the group especially if she turns round and says she doesn't like me in that way.On her online profile she recently posted that the friendzone is best for now and that she doesn't know whether she wants a relationship or not. I can only think that these posts are aimed at me.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (20 February 2014):
 If a friend likes a guy, then as a friend - you have to back off. And it's even more awkward when the guy in question starts pursuing YOU.
I had that happen to me in high school and while I wasn't very interested, my friend who was into him insisted I go out with him. "He likes you, I don't want his feelings to get hurt, you have to go out with him!" So finally, I begrudgingly did. He was a nice guy, but I just wasn't into him. He licked my eye once - that was it. We broke up and then years later - he and my friend who had liked him got married and had two kids. So a happy ending for their love story.
I guess that's only sort of relevant here. I think I just wanted to tell the story. Anyway, either she's not that into you or if she is/was - she has pushed that aside out of loyalty to a friend. I think your best bet is to back off, give it some time and then when the right time comes around to just ask her out on a date. Enough with the subtle hints and mild flirting - just get to the point and ask her out! That's how you get out of the friendzone. Be direct. If she likes you, she'll give it a shot. If she doesn't, she'll say no and you'll have your answer.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014): You know what i think? I think that her friend has told her to quit the contact so then you'll stop faling for that girl, and start falling for the friend. What you need to do, is tell that friend privately if you can that you're not interested in her and that you hope she can move on. And then the girl you like? You need to talk to her in private too, if thats possible. Tell her you've told her friend you're not interested, and ask her why she's become so distant. Then, maybe, just maybe, you could ask her zt! oh. and the reason for telling her friend that you're not interested is that there aro no hard feelings, if you know what I mean. Good luck x!
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A
female
reader, sasha ray +, writes (20 February 2014):
As a girl I think she's being a good friend to the other girl by backing off because she knows that her friend is interested, its kinda like girl code. If u know your friend is interested you should back off. I suggest you remain good friends with both girls and see how it plays out in the future.The very best of luck to you!
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