A
female
age
36-40,
*anialise4
writes: I have been dating my boyfriend now for a 1 1/2 years, to me he is everything I've ever wanted out of a guy! But the past 2 months all we do is argue. We moved in together about a 5 months ago. We are going to the same college and thought this would be easier. However, he tells me I'm not giving him enough freedom. Which I understand I do complain everytime he wants to go out with his brother or friends. Its simply not because I dont have friends that I could go out with as well but because I just love spending time with him and hate to be without him. Nor is it a trust issue, I use to have trust issues with men but he's different I trust him whenever he goes out, I know he'd never cheat on me. But the arguing has been about little petty things, for instance, he rarely cleans up around our apartment (though hes not a very messy person, he still leaves dishes in the sink, empty water bottles everywhere) ,he never cooks (simply because he doesnt know how too) , and I feel like Ive taken the place of his mom. Like I have to do everything for him. Cook, clean, do laundry. And I strongly disagree with this. I don't mind doing these things and would do them all the time if he could do a little but sometimes too. I also feel that he thinks hes smarter and better than me. I could be imagining this but he feels the need to tell me when I'm not doing something right, or if I have done something that I feel is truly good, he'll come up behind me and do it differently and explain to me why what I did was not correct. As if I'm his child. Mind you hes a year younger than me and never though he would talk to me in a way that I was a child. We never agree on anything anymore, and the crazy thing is when we first started dating we couldn't find something to disagree on. So what has happened?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): I moved in with my bf when we were just 18 and you have to start how u mean to go on. If he didn't wash up then I would only wash my dishes and let his pile up and if it was his turn to do laundry and he left it then I would leave his clothes and only do mine. He would also do this to me! We were both young and used to our parents doing everything but you soon learn if u have no clothes for work and wonder why!!
Tell him straight u aren't his mum and aren't there to do everything around the house and say if u cook he has to wash up and if u Hoover he has to do the laundry. If he doesn't lift a finger and you do it for him then he won't learn and will always think u r there to do everything.
It can work but u both have to be willing to help each other.
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