A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:theres a guy at school that i really like were really close friends and always have a laugh thing is he asked me out and i was scared because there were loadsa people around so i just said no sorry. and he just said i was only kidding like i'd wanna go out with you this was like 9 weeks ago but thing is i know he wasn't kidding because loadsa people have told me he likes me loads of times before.then when i was around him he was ating really strange and wouldn't talk to me like he used to and he looked really sad, i never felt the way i do about him before and now i do!!the other little clitch is that me and hes mate jonny c are really close and he thinks jonny told me not tp go out with him which h never anyway hes other mate hayden fncies me too and so does sebastin but the only one that doset like me is the other one i like sam. and hes usually really stupid around girls cuz he says he hates them but when im around hell whip girls legswith hs tie along with the other guys. exept he wnt do it to me.then we went on a trip to blackpool pleasure beach with school and we got seperated from everyone else so we went on valhalla together and he was telling me that if i got scared to grab hes arm n e closed hes eyes was lookng at hima nd it was like id never in the whole time id known him seen the sensitive kind side of him it was totally wierd then at the end wen we came out he said something to me he sed why didnt you grab me??x and i looked at im and said because i wasnt scared and he said but ou had your eyes closed when we went through the fire room and that proves he must of been looking at e right and we were in that room for like 40 secs so he must of been looking at me the whole time we were in right??Xthen he saw our mates and ran over to them i just carried on walking to them as he ran ahead then i sat on the coach next to the window and he came bye and sat down i was litening to my ipod and he tapped me and sad can i sit here n i said yeh course i pulled my phone out bcuz i got a text from our m8 sayin u n sam makea perfect couple. am looked at it n texted him sum-fin bak n deleted it str8 away...i let him lisen 2 one of the earphones on my ipod and he liked the songs so we were just chating along listening to my ipod an then he said to me that i wasnt gunna see him till yr 10 as he was at hes rothers wedding the next day so i was really upset..i was gunna ask him out when we got back to school but im scared that will is gunna get jealous and fall out with sam fro seeing me...please help 2 lads 1 of me ........
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): I like that Tremor. Talk to Will and tell him you like Sam and ask him how to get Sam to go out with you. He'll have to help out. Sneaky, but stuff it, were looking after your happiness here, he'll just have to understand and move on.
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Alrighty, I think we should take a look at your options here.
1) Ask Sam out with the risk of upsetting Will.
Have you talked to Will about this? Perhaps you should sit him down and explain the situation to him. You're flattered that he likes you, you think he's an alright dude, you don't want to hurt him, BUT, you can't help who you like, and you happen to like Sam. You'd like to ask Sam out, and you hope Will understand that this is nothing against him.
And if Will doesn't understand, tough cookies for him. You tried to let him down gently, it's up to him how he responds. Don't let other people's reactions affect how you do things.
2) Do nothing, at the possible expense of your own happiness.
Well... that one is self explanatory, isn't it? If you do nothing, Sam MIGHT get up the bollocks to ask you out, something MIGHT happen, but the chances are slim unless you take action yourself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionright, so i like sam. and hes best mates with will, who is ment to be deeply in love with me. i rejected him because i like sam the thing is sam wont ask me out because hes scared of wills reaction. hes afraid that there friendship will end!!!x
and i dont want to ask out sam because everyone wil think that im using him to rub it in wills face but im not!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): Sorry babes, I had difficulty in understanding you, we adults don't understand text speak, you need to use some full stops because that would really help. I'm not really sure who is the guy you like, and if he's the same one that went into Valhalla with you.
There is Sam, Sebastian, Johnny and Will... You like Sam, but Will likes you. Well, unfortunately these things happen. If you like Sam, then ask him out. Will will have to understand. He might be jealous, but what can you do. Have I got it right. You like a guy, but he's scared to ask you out because his friend won't like it.
You really need to update and explain clearly exactly who you like and what is going on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou, for the advice and all, but i can't really say that it helped me.
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A
female
reader, Tremor +, writes (19 August 2008):
I have to agree with PsyCookie here - try and work on your punctuation so we know what you're saying! It'll make it easier for us to give you better answers if we know what's going on. =)
Don't fret about how other people are going to react to your actions. There is no way you can please everyone, so you might as well just make yourself happy.
Just bite the bullet and ask your lad out. See what happens. And if this boy's mates get annoyed at him for dating you, then that is their problem and not yours.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 I'm sorry for telling you this, but I did not understand much of what you wrote here. Please try to use punctuations when you write.
But I'll just answer your original question:
You can't please anyone. You have to realize that. So what I'll tell you is go for it. You supposedly have plenty of evidence that Sam likes you (he's the one you like, right?), and since you rejected him first, it's your job to ask him out since he won't try again.
I know you might feel bad for the other guy that likes you for rejected him, but are you willing to live a life of "what ifs"? And like I said, you can't please everyone, so you have to take choices to please the most people out there, and in this case, you.
But before you ask this boy out, make sure your feelings are right. When I was at your age, I would sometimes feel like I suddenly "liked" the boy I rejected, which would leave me just confused. It was just my pity taking over me. I'm not saying it's the same for you, but please try to make sure your feelings are right for him so that when you're finally with him you won't feel bored and have the need to break it off or cheat on him. This will also save you time in the future.
Good luck and I hope he says yes.
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