A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 15 and I usually have boyfriends all the time but lately all they want to do is have sex. I am still a virgin and I wanna do it but I'm scared I will get pregnant. I have been fingered before. Help me, what should I do? Plus all my friends are doing it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2006): All i can advise you to do is wait for Mr right. Im only 14 and most of my friends have not been virgins since they been 11. They've been pregnant and had abortions many times. I myself am not a virgin and i wish i had waited. Trust me sex aint fun. Its now like a drug and its addictive. If you feel horny then maybe just stick to masturbation. You dont want a reputation at your age and boys dont respect your body if you don'!!
A
female
reader, WesnJanelle05 +, writes (24 August 2005):
ok first of all just becuase your friends are doing it doesnt mean that you should do it at all.. this is about you and usually guys around that age are like that thats all they want and thats all there gunna want for a long time if he really cares for you he will wait.....i just found out today that my god child is a girl which dont get me wrong thats fine and everything... my best freind who is having the baby just turned 15 on the 3rd of this month im 17 and im still scared of getting pregnant i had a miscarriage when i was 16 and that absolutly killed me ..what ever you just be carfull please
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2005): do what you want, by the sounds of things with no offense to your mates you hang around with a bunch of young sluts, so regardless of what anyone say on here their influence and peer pressure will make you do it.
It should be what you want not what you think you should do because the boys want to and because all your mates say so.
You say boyfriends all the time which implies you have had alot and lately they all want sex, they have probably shagged your best mate or whatever. Is it worth the STi/STD's?
You are geting forced into doing something you dont want to do yet, i know alot of girls who been in this situation, they normally regret it for the next 10 years or so, is it really that good to get you down.
I noticed you didnt say "i am a virgin", but "im am still a virgin", means you must live in slut nation i guess, because most 15yr olds are virgins.
Cant you see these boys dont love you and they just want a fuck?
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A
female
reader, laura 007 +, writes (17 August 2005):
i'm sure all the responses to this say the same but trust me from personally experience don't rush into anything! Once you've done it there's no going back wait for the right guy a guy who treats you like a princess. my advice is be in a stable relationship the longer you've been together without having sex will prove how much you truly love/care for each other. i'm not saying wait till your 33 when mr.right comes along because lets be honest everyone will love more than one oerson in their lifetime just make sure the guy you decide to get intimate with is right for you! but as i was saying there is no rush hun, you've got your whole life and if all of your friends are doing it doesn't make it right the rate of teenage pregnancy's is getting higher and higher don't let yourself become one of them.
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reader, kt +, writes (9 August 2005):
if you dont want to do it then dont, its as simple as that, and just because your friends are doing it, dont feel pressurised by it, wait till the right guy and make it special, if your not ready or if you worrie about pregnanc while you are doing it, it could ruin your sex life. your the bigger person if you can say no to the boys, i completely understand how you feel though - coz when you younger you just kiss, hug and hold hands. but as you get older sex comes into it, dont rush it if your scared wait till you want kids there is no shame in that.
if you do want sex though you can get cotraception, and if that dont work you can get an abortion, the choise is yours.
good luck!!
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A
female
reader, imsocute01 +, writes (8 August 2005):
I say don't do. Wait till you find the right guy, just don't do it because everyone else is doing it. Believe me you will be glad you waited.
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A
female
reader, lulu +, writes (8 August 2005):
If you have doubts then don't do it. Youre first sexual experience should be with someone you love and who loves you as much in return. You will be more admired and respected for waiting rather than having "sex" because youre friends are. You should never give in to peer pressure and youre friends should respect youre decisions and you should be proud of your morals and opinions, as its obvious you don't want a baby at this moment in time
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A
female
reader, purpleflyingmonkey +, writes (7 August 2005):
Hun, if you don't feel like doing it then don't do it. Trust me hun not all your friend's are haveing sex. Just wait until your married and meet the right guy. Anyways sex isn't as great as they say. Don't do anything foolish condoms, birth control pills etc is not 100% effective. Plus this guy might have an STD and might give it to you. Do not lose the one thing you can't get back just to impress your friends. If they think by you haveing sex proves that you are they're friends then hun they ain't your friend at all. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (6 August 2005):
Hi there hon,
Surprise! "All" your friends *aren't* having sex. This is the world's most widely-promulgated myth, and is somehow, amazingly, believed by every generation of teens about their peers.
What your friends are doing is SAYING that they're having sex, which is a slightly different kettle of fish, don't you think?
Everyone aged 15 wants to be seen to be worldly and sophisticated, and implying (or saying implicitly) to your age-mates that you're involved sexually with someone is a time-tested way to appear to be slightly superior. But most of these statements are rather risky fibs. Try to remember that. And then remember that even MY generation of girls - back when the dinosaurs roamed - said it to each other and believed it when they heard it. All your friends aren't having sex. Not even most of them are.
So, having dispensed with that myth, we can address your virginity question.
It's not too suprising that all the boys you know want to have sex. Let's face it, not only do they have the same excesses of teen hormones that you're dealing with, they also have MASSIVE media and cultural pressure to "do it". Age 15 to about 17 is probably the peak of adolescent desire, so you're going to notice that the boys are a lot more interested in that than they have been before.
But you only get one virginity. Throw it away to the first boy who can't take No for an answer and you've got nothing special to give to the person you really love and care for.
I know that it seems like virginity is an albatross around your neck rather than a rare gift, but it really is something special to be a virgin, and if you can get through the next couple of years without wasting it on some meaningless sex, you might start to see that.
What you should do (since you asked), is treasure your body and your virginity for its specialness. Don't let friends and boys you date pressure you into having sex with someone who means nothing to you, just so you can say you've done it.
If you really feel that you have to have sexual activity of some sort, so that you can impress your friends, then teen mags and Cosmo can give you more tips on oral sex and so forth than you'd ever need, except as a "professional". Read, learn, discuss...
If you do decide that you simply have to have sex, pregnancy and/or sexually-transmitted infections are definite considerations. Have at least one and possibly two contraceptives handy. Condoms are great, but have a backup method too, because nothing works 100% of the time.
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