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female
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anonymous
writes: I was due to get married on August 19th. My fiance told me that he doesnt want to get married and he isnt sure if we have a future. He says he loves me and doesnt want to hurt me, but other than this he cannot give me a reason why this has happened. We have agreed to have a break from each other so he has moved out. I feel that if we both still love each other we can work whatever it is that went wrong out. Am I a fool to wait for him or should I walk away never knowing what went wrong or how he really feels?
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female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (31 May 2006):
 Who knows what is going on in his head, he sounds to me like he is getting cold feet and that is that.
You need to decide if you can be bothered waiting around for him to make up his mind.
Talk to him and tell him that if he can give you some answers as to why he wanted a break and why he called the wedding off then you would be prepared to accept the break and work with him towards re-builing the relationship and putting right what went wrong.
if he wont talk then what is the point in hanging on for him, just accept it and move on.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (30 May 2006):
 I am sure you must be feeling really disappointed, and hurt at the moment. But, in time, you will see this is for the best. Getting married doesn't fix the cracks in a relationship, and it is far better that he leaves now than goes through with the wedding only to get cold feet later on and end up in the divorce courts. Perhaps he is just not mature enough to commit to marriage at this stage in his life. He may never tell you what is wrong as he may not be able to articulate it into words, or it maybe for horrible reasons that you are better off not knowing about really. Even if you two get back together in the future then it may be difficult to get down the aisle because you may feel worried that he will leave again. I also find it disrespectful that he didn't tell you until you have the date of the wedding booked, and probably have started making the arrangements. Time to move on...and count your blessings.
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