A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 30 years old and a single father. I've been single for four years now. I'm not good looking - some might say I'm ugly and although I'm not fat I don't have a great body. My ex cheated on me then walked out on me and my kids for another man. Since then I've had two short term relationships, but each of them cheated on me too. The last one ended over a year ago now and I just don't seem to be able to meet women atall. Have tried dating sites, but there seem to be very few genuine people on those. Have had a couple of dates but each time they have turned out to be nothing like they seemed when we were emailing/texting beforehand. Most however just seem to want to email and usually stop contact when I suggest meeting. I don't get the chance to go out much to meet people in pubs/clubs because of my kids, but the odd time I do women seem disinterested when I try and talk to them. I haven't met anyone worth anything in the last four years and it doesn't seem likely that I will any time soon. All I want is to love and be loved and find some happiness in my life but will it ever happen for me and how can I meet somebody?
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cheated on me, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): You probably have met someone, but maybe you passed up on them for the wrong type of women????
Nobody wants to be alone forever, but whatever you do DON'T SETTLE. Don't become desperate b/c you will increase your chances of getting into a relationship with the wrong woman YET AGAIN.
A
female
reader, LLindy87  +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Thats tough, I would normally tell you to go online to find someone, but you're right...most girls on there are not genuine, along with most of the guys. Its littered with guys who want sex (80% of them) and girls who like the attention of guys emailing them, calling them cute.
I think your best bet would maybe bring your kids places and hope that you meet a lady somewhere. I used to nanny and I met a man at a mall playplace who was a Manny (a man nanny) but sometimes you meet people in unexpected places. but thats leaving your life to chance, and i'm sure thats unappealing to you.
But its all about self confidence and how you present yourself.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (26 July 2010):
 Try praying God brngs the right people in your life if you ask. Trolling dating sites and bars and clubs probably wont get you far... you said your unattractive try changing that... plastic sugery gym whatever it takes.. women do it.. but i really think you shouldnt try so hard a woman wont make you happy unless shes perfect and there arent any perfect ones..
I always say make tons of money always have a full belly and a nice car love ... if you spent less time chasing women you would be a bit wealthier.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (26 July 2010):
You totally lack confidence.
One simple thing that it is within your power to do is to work on your body. Map out a one year program to become really buff. The ladies love a tight ass so work on getting your pants size down to 30" or 32" waist. It's a do-able, worthwhile for health reasons, goal, even apart from whatever sex it might bring into your life.
Even if the children mean you can't go to a gym you could do exercises at home to really get buff - start off with a few sessions with a personal trainer and ask him for a program to work on at home.
Of course if you can spend one evening a week at the gym all the better -maybe there are some unisex classes you can join and .... who knows whose eye you might catch.
Is there anything you would like to study ? Like a language or yoga ( LOADS of women go for yoga ! ) which you could spend one evening a week doing ?
Caring for the kids is fine but you are entitled to some free time for yourself one or two evenings a week ( you know someone who will babysit surely ? ) or you will go mad / become very boring.
Some women are really turned on by men who are proven good fathers - so you have that in your armory to impress them with.....
All is not lost - if you follow any of the above suggestions : report back on your findings !
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A
female
reader, blue_eyes1981 +, writes (26 July 2010):
 To feel unwanted is awful and because of that we often settle for second best. I myself have these issues and nothing ever turns out great. I don't really know what to suggest I guess all I can say is that maybe someone will come along when you are least expecting it. I'm sure you shouldn't be so down on yourself. Good luck the right woman is there she just has to find you xx
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