A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:dear everyone,this is a strange story.. I met my ex-boyfriend through a mutual friend. We were very young. I was 17 and he was 19. We started dating and broke up after a month because.. we were just too young and lived 2 hours away from each other. We always remained good friends and his family likes me very much. At one point he fell madly in love with me. But I had a boyfriend, let's call him calvin. This is where I went wrong: I lied to him, saying that i broke up calvin, but i didnt. When he found out I was lying to him the whole time. He was very angry ofcourse.. Soon after that I regretted everything i've done. Calvin was abusive to me. I realized how kind he was to me. And were always good friends. But it was too late. He decided to emigrate and start a new life. He later talked to my mother and forgave me because he cared? He insisted to leave.. Now... 6 years later.. He became a succesfull business man and he came back to visit his parents and me on and off for a few times and i went there to visit him. We are still good friends. But truth is.. I never really let him go in my heart. I always picked him up from the airport, travelled far for him. He brings me small gifts. We do hug each other. We sleep next to each other.. just sleeping! He kisses me on the cheek.I feel that he cares a lot about me. Everyone says so including his family and friends. He told me his mother wanted him to marry me!? I didn't reply him.. because I was too shy to say anything to that! We are still treated as a couple? and that hurts.. I know he is a ladies man. He gets a lot of attention of girls. He is close to many girls.. But I know i am special because i am the only one he brings home. My question is: why is he like this? If i were him I wouldnt talk to myself after I lied to him. He is always trying to make me happy whenever i see him.. Does he feel sorry for me because i come from a difficult childhood? Anyway, he is leaving tomorrow.. I have to let him go. I will give him back everything that reminds me of him. His letters and pictures. As a enclore.. and he will never see me again. I guess he is the one that got away? What should I do? Thanks for reading :)-x-
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): You let him go, you played games, you lied and he probably got tired of it. Yeah, he probably cares about you to a certain extent, but if he really wanted to be with you, he would have asked you by now. This is why I always tell people that when a decent person comes into your life who loves and cares about you DON'T MESS IT UP thinking the grass is greener on the other side, by cheating, telling lies, doing things to sabotage the relationship. Decent men and women are very, very, very rare and I believe once you pass up on them, THAT IS IT. You may find someone later who cares about you, but that "it" factor will always be lacking, you may find someone prettier or more handsome, or better in bed, but you will not have a connection or they are a liar or a cheater or just a bad person all the way around. I have seen or heard this happening to several people time and time again.
If I were you, I wouldn't run after him...if he is willing to just be friends..just leave it at that. But really, this situation is your own fault..you had a decent guy and you toyed around with his feelings and lost him.
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