A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to keep this as concise as possible, but there's a chance I'll ramble on, so if this seems too long, feel free to ignore it entirely. I won't be hurt.This June, I went to a camp at Stanford. I met a guy there. We spent three weeks hanging out every day (sometimes individually, sometimes in groups) and exchanged contact info before we left. The first few weeks afterward (early to mid-July) we spoke every day. The more I talked with him, the more I came to like him.It didn't hurt that he was hilarious and sweet. (The day after we all went home, he sent me a message saying, "I miss you, O. I miss you, I miss you!") We video chatted on skype a couple of times too.Then he went to Spain, to participate in a program to learn Spanish. He was having a terrible time there, and he talked to me then more than ever. I guess he needed the support. He's a smart, good kid, and his house-mate was a partier. Every night she'd go out and club until 2 AM. One night, she even threw up all over the bathroom he had to share. Most of the kids were like this, and he couldn't relate to them at all.Then I went to Costa Rica for a week. It seemed that whenever I was available to talk, he wasn't, and we spent our first week without contact since we first met. How miserable I felt about it indicated the strength of my feelings for him. I really liked this guy.Then, we both got back to the states. Our first conversation after the hiatus consisted of a lot of caps lock, a lot of "I miss you"s and an extended conversation about everything that had happened to us since we last spoke. We talked as usual, for a while after that. . . then he started taking longer to respond. At first, it was an hour. Then five. (This was via text, btw) Then, two weeks ago, in the middle of a conversation, he just stopped responding. Like period. Before, there were times when he went AWOL, but not like this. It took him two days to reply to a text, and then, he didn't even offer anything significant. Maybe we were raised differently, but if I'd kept him waiting for fifty-three hours for a response, I would at least apologize and offer a reason for my tardiness. I tried to get over it, but it happened again. The last "real" conversation we had was a week ago, and it lasted five minutes. No, literally. Our conversations now are split-second, and they always, ALWAYS end with his lack of response. All I want is to feel like he wants to talk to me. . . is that so much to ask?Maybe I'm overreacting because until now, we've talked almost constantly, but I'm not sure how to take this. Could he be sick of me? Is this just a guy thing? Could I be overreacting, and in a few days, he could sign on to skype for the first time in weeks with an all-caps "I miss you" just for me? Just like before? Or is he trying to give me a hint?Maybe this isn't enough for you to tell what his intentions are, but a little bit of insight to the male mind (just in general!) would be appreciated. My friends have suggested that the next time he talks to me, I make *him* wait for two days. Or that I try to make him jealous by telling all the other guys from the Stanford program that I miss them on facebook, but not him. But I've never liked playing games like that.
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male
reader, Jess88  +, writes (30 August 2011):
See, what i would say is don't be obsessed with someone. If he really likes you, he will message you if you wouldn't. If a guy (for that matter even girl) doesn't message for a long time:1) he/she is busy didn't get your message, or want to chat more than just a small message, so is waiting for time for that.2) he met someone else and now he is confused he likes you.you know it is too early to really get into a relationship at 16 or something, this is your age to know men better. Being a male myself i accept i was infatuated by the looks and body of the girl form, but really now when i am 23 can I really connect at the mental level with them and know what they mean, what they feel.I repeat don't separate yourself from other guys, and just keep in touch with all of your friends.
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