A
male
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*elboy1681
writes:My fiancé and I are having problems because I am not well I suffer from what the GP thinks is bipolar disorder and through this I can become very angry. I had an anger episode on the 22nd of febuary which resulted in me being arrested for domestic breach of the police to which I plead guilty to, but ever since that has happened my fiancé wont talk to me or tell me how my sons are, I love them all so much and it's tearing me apart inside. Then on Wednesday 4th march I called her to talk and when I said it was derek she hung up the phone, then I sent her a text saying that I was sorry and how were te kids and herself, I then went on to ask if it would be possible to arrange a time to come and collect my clothes and belonging from the house I got no reply then on the Thursday her father called my parents house and gave my mother an ultimatum, my things would be outside her house at 2pm on Sunday and too bad if that doesn't suit, my mum then said that she would have to contact my father to see and he hung up the phone leaving no contact information. My father then called my fiancé on Friday 5th march to ask if she new about him calling and that he thought it was out of order that he was giving ultimatums because at the end of the day it has nothing to do with him an she agreed and then told my dad that he had to come to the door on Sunday to collect the stuff as it is her houseands not her fathers, and in my mind if it wasn't for him my fiancé, my to boys and myself wouldn't be in this mess. When my father was near the house he called from his car and got no answer then as he drove up to the house all the stuff was at the bottom of the stairs. He came home and later that night my behaviour as he put it started to become irrational, erratic, confused to a point I was walking around the house like a zombie and chalk white. I went to see a solicitor yesterday to find out my rights and what I want of course I want to see my sons but the only thing that I'm 100% sure about is I want my fiancé back I want to hold her in my arms , look into her beautiful blue eyes and tell her how truly sorry I am that I'm not well and I'm getting help but not just for myself but for the kids and for her because I want her to once again feel safe and secure around me and not scared. I want a reconciliation and for her to come with me to my counselling sessions, and the solicitor has said that he will put that to her in a letter it's just I don't know what I'll do without her in my life because I love her so so much it's as if her name is etched into my heart and my soul, I would go to hell and back for her, I would give her the stars in the sky, it's as if she is a part of me and I love her that much it hurts. I so deprately want to tell her this but I don't want to get charged with harrassing her which would then go against my 6 months good behaviour bond. I just want to talk to her and it is so hard. My dad took me to the GP and maybe I couldn't understand that he was trying to help but all I got from him was you just have to wait for the relevant people to contact you or go private, then my dad asked how long can it take and he said it could take a few weeks or 6 months but I can't wait 6 months because of everything that is going on I feel as though my depressive state is getter deeper and deeper and taking a firmer grip of my life and I know that my parents and my sister are there for me but I want my family there if I knew that my fiancé and I had a chance it would give me a goal, something to aim for but I just want to talk to her that's all but I can't. I feel as though I could make more sense of this if something had happened to my fiancé and sons there would be a reason for me feeling like this I just want to see her and my sons and talk that is all.
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