A
female
age
30-35,
*skQ
writes:I just feel confused at the moment, distant and not sure what it is i'm thinking.I haven't seen my girlfriend for about three weeks now and everyday it just feels like she hates me at times. She has a lot of Uni work on at the moment so i can understand but even before that when she wasny busy she rarely made time for us and if i asked to see her she says i dont appreciate what she does because shes the one that comes here but thats her choice because im in secret and she doesnt want anyone finding out shes in a same sex relationship so to everyone im just her friend.Last week i tried to talk to her and tell her im feeling lonely because of not seeing her much and hkw she behaves towards me and she just stopped talking to me, she then went behind my back and started speaking to her ex again so i asked her had she been speaking to him and she lied and said no, i dont think shes spoke to him again since but still when i was upset trying to talk with her she ignored me and spoke to him all night, accessed her old dating profile then deleted it.We've been together a year and that year has been hard at times because she lies to me a lot, does things id prefer she didnt, calls me names, belittles me and start arguments the problem is the only problem in her eyes is me and im the cause of everything and i dont understand it. I feel unloved and taken for granted, she sees nothing wrong with what she does. What do i do? If i talk to her she will probably start another fight when all i want is a cuddle
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her ex, she lies, unloved Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (5 November 2013):
 Please read back what you have wrote..... if a friend told you that story you would be shocked right?!
You and anyone for that matter deserves better than this.
I know how hard leaving can be, but you are not getting anything good from this relationship, one need to move away and work on your self.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (2 November 2013):
Read what you wrote and ask yourself if anyone could recommend anything but dumping this insensitive b word.
Why, why, why would you stay with someone who makes you miserable? Does that make any sense? What would you say to a loved one if they were in your situation? So maybe you need to start loving yourself and take that advice.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2013):
 Ok so you are with a distant woman who lies to you, does things you don’t want her to do, calls you names, belittles you and picks fights.
When you try to have an adult conversation with her about how you feel she shuts down on you and goes running back to her ex.
You feel unloved and taken for granted.
What would you tell a friend or younger sister to do if they were in an emotionally abusive relationship? You would hopefully tell them to leave the relationship. And that’s my advice to you. Sadly she probably will not chase you as I’m betting she wants out and is just too chicken to tell you so she’s going to let YOU be the bad guy.
I hope you heal quickly as I see no hope for saving the relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2013): This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship for you. You deserve to be more than someones dirty little secret. You're not happy and she doesn't seem to care. There are other girls out there who will love you to pieces and want to flaunt you rather than lie to you and hide you. You can do better!!
Maybe it's time to walk away and find somebody else who will really love you.
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