A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Bottom line: There is this guy who has a girlfriend...(just figure out the rest)During this past summer I was at a summer program and had a laptop with me. The computer had msn messenger so I randomly went on it to see who I had in my friend list for the past 5 years. Since I dont have the messenger on my home computer, I hadn't been on it in like forever so I was just trying to see who I knew. Basically, I saw that he was online and I just talked to him randomly and we just greeted one another basically. It was very short, hey, watsup, how are you, ok, bye. That was it. I just came back like a week ago and decided to download msn messenger because I had made a lot of friends that had the application at the program. After I did, he randomly starts to talk to me one night. He starts talking to me about cars...guy stuff...etc. Well, to make a long story short, at first I was so bored but then he said this: something like back in middle school (we went to the same middle school) that I had asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up? Apparently, after he said a doctor (what I also wanted to be and still do), i told him that I will marry him if he does. Haha. Now, I DONT even RECALL THIS! But after this I became sort of interested in him. Anyway, so after that night/day he starts to really want to hang out and have me visit him at his work. The first time he asks to come with me while I'm running arrands, and randomly gives me the longest hug (and picks me up!). Then he asks me to visit him at work again. I dont at first, and only then visit him only once and we go out to lunch. Then he wanted to hang out, and being so persistent, I just say why dont we go walk my dog? So he comes by my house and we go walk my dog. We go to this lake by my house and just walk around. Though the whole time he's really touchy-feely. He randomly would hug me, and only God knows, the longest hug every. I mean I really liked it, but at the same time it was uncomfortable because on the day where i visited him at his work i checked his facebook and he had a girlfriend. I would say things like dude, you have a girlfriend, so he would know that I know, but he would just let it go. And the day we went to lunch I had even asked how they met and he would tell me. But it was still very wierd. I would not have been surprised one bit if he tried to kiss me. He's just a really romantic, sweet, touchy-feely type of guy. And I noticed the very first time I met him. Basically this has been going on for 7 days...and just yesterday he texted me and asked me watsup...and I replied that I was at work. I wanted him to get the massage that I really didn't like the idea of hanging out with him so much- at all. Well then that night I make this random comment: "why the hell are all the guys that I meet out of my league...or the other way around...lol." Thats it. It was actually in regards to other guys, but after that he has refrained from talking. I dont really care to be honest, since I told him that I wouldnt want to do anything to jeapordize his relationship with his girlfriend (to which he replied that I think too much). But I'm wondering if what I said was just really bad? too mean? I mean it wasn't regarding him, but maybe he thought it did? I dont know. So I have a few questions: 1. Why would he flirt with me and have a girlfriend at the same time? (is he trying to have his cake and eat it too?)2. Why did he stop talking all of sudden?-maybe he just felt that it was the right thing to do?-or was it the comment I made?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (17 August 2008):
He sounds like a right odd ball. There is no telling what is going on in his head as it just doesn't make sense.
I think your comment has either confused him or proven that you are NOT interested.
Anyhow, any guy who tells you that you think too much is never a good guy to be around, and as you say you don't care then just block him on MSN and move on knowing you have met one of life's many weirdos and survived!
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, the cat's pajamas +, writes (17 August 2008):
 hmmm...
well i hate to end on a pessimistic view as i like to think the best in people...so i shall start with it sorry :s
The flirting:
I think you are correct to assume that he is trying to have his cake and eat it too...but...now i don't know the whole situation with his girl friend but he could be having problems in the relationship and is, as a result, acting as he would if he could - if you get my meaning... like trying to emulate his relationship with his girlfriend with you.
Then again he could just e a flirty sort of guy as you said :)
The convo deficit :
I have been in this sort of situation myself where i have messaged something and it could have been interpreted in a different way :(
so he could have thought you were saying in a way to 'go away' if you get me...or... he could have read what you commented, reviewed his actions and as you said decided it was best to leave things for a while.
My suggestion is to somehow confront him about this whole thing, just meet up for a coffee or something and have a chat :)
good luck xx
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