A
female
age
26-29,
*illiertrt
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together since July and I don’t know him he loves me he says he does but all he wants is sex I love him with all my heart but do I stay or leave should I wait a year Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2018):
 How do you mean you don't know him? Is this an online boyfriend or is it someone you actually do see from time to time? You need to give us more information so that we can give you more advice.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 December 2017):
 I agree with Auntie BimBim
You NEED to talk to him. If you have have sex.... you can have awkward conversations.
Know what it is you WANT from him before you have this chat.
You are both so young which means you are both pretty inexperienced in relationships overall. On how to build them, how to maintain them, how to improve on them.
If you FEEL like all he wants from you is sex, then it's not really a mature relationship in any way. Calling you his GF but if all you DO when you are together is having sex, well... that's a FWB or F-buddy thing not really a relationship.
Talk to him and talk about how you two can make things work, I would even suggest that you take SEX (tell him though) out of the equation for a month or two - see JUST how much you actually have in common, if there is a future with this guy or not.
He can't read your mind. He doesn't know what girls want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2017): Did he talk and flirt and buy you dinner/pay for PROPER dates before sleeping w you? Even take you on free dates like museums or picnics? Take the time to get to know you? If so, it's probably that he gained your trust, got to "know you" by exchanging life stories and then all that stopped once you started having sex. If that's the case, he probably just wanted free and easy sex, sorry to say. Stop being so free and easy! You're worth more than that! If you let him do that, he'll keep going the way he is and it'll all be to his benefit. If/when you break up, word gets around and you could fall into a pattern of guys who only want sex with little-to-no courting, dating, wooing or anything. Men who do that to women disgust me. Tell him, don't ask him, that you need some PROPER dates bc you're starting to feel it's only about sex. TELL him, don't ask, that you're going to chill on the sex for awhile until you get those dating days back. Don't back down, don't settle for "sometime soon". See how he responds. That should tell you a lot about him.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (25 December 2017):
 It's interesting that he says he loves you, yet you don't FEEL loved. At the start of a relationship, particularly when the parties are so young, sex usually features heavily. Are you saying that all he is interested in is having sex and doesn't want to talk to you, take you out, share other time with you? If so, then you need to sort this out as soon as possible and not waste more of your time.
However, if you do other stuff, if he treats you well outside the bedroom but it is just the frequency of sex that concerns you, then that is a different scenario all together. Your relationship is still new and he is still very keen. Your sex life will settle down in time to a more "normal" rate.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (25 December 2017):
I think you might need to tell him what you want. Young men do want sex all the time, but with the right direction they can be trained! He might not know what you are expecting from this relationship. He might feel that he is showing his love through sex, but that's because he doesn't know any other way.What is it you want? Affection, conversation,meals out,mini breaks,do you want him to buy you things? You need to be explicit and let him know. If he understands then great! He probably won't want sex less but there'll be more balance. However if you are unhappy because there's just too much sex then it's a different story. Are you enjoying the sex- is he a considerate lover or does he just get himself off? That's probably something you can't fix. Does he pester you and coerce you for sex even when you don't want it? That's a red flag. Does he try but he's just inexperienced? Then he needs direction- you need to show him what works for you. Is there still too much sex? Then maybe you aren't compatible. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 December 2017):
 You need to talk to him, and you need to use language that he will understand.
Find somewhere neutral where you can have a conversation, make sure the TV is off and that phones and other devises are out of reach. Maybe ask him what he expects from a relationship, now that you have been together for almost 6 months.
If he doesn't seem to understand then be blunt, ask him if he sees you as more than a person to have sex with. Tell him you expect more from a relationship ... make sure you have a few examples ready because he might ask you what you expect.
If he doesn't seem interested in doing anything but having sex then don't wait a year .... why wait if he cant get his act together when it hasn't even been a full 6 months yet, then waiting any longer is just delaying the inevitable.
You are worth more that just being a convenient receptacle for some boy's "male member"
Tell him what you want and need, if you don't ask he wont know. good luck!
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