A
female
age
36-40,
*upidLover
writes:So here's the problem...I've been recently sort of been seeing this guy Alex, he's in the same college as i am and we get along really well, but both him and i don't wish to persue anything serious or committed anytime soon.Summer is coming up and there's this long time family friend whom i've been speaking to for the past couple of months, and during that time he's professed his feeling towards me..and they are really intimate and deep.He lives nearby and i was thinking of going to visit him when summer break starts.The only thing is,i know if i visit him,something physical and or emotional might happen (physical for sure,because we're attracted to each other intensely)The only thing thats lingering through my mind is that i dont want to feel guilty for Alex...i dont want to hurt him. I am a single woman and i know technically i'm not doing anything wrong since Alex and i are not a couple.What should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (6 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank u for ur patience b.rye :) and enjoy shaking those hips haha any yes i hope u do find someone to "proceed with caution" :p tell him "my hips dont lie" haha cheers hun
A
female
reader, b.rye  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 To hell with it? Absolutely not! What I mean is test the water before you jump in, because you might actually not like the temperature. You and Jamie may have had a lot of chemistry, and maybe you still do, but there always run the possibility that it won't be there anymore. Take it a step at a time and always keep your options open so that you have the ability to make choices when you need to. Have a good time, just use some caution and common sense and don't get yourself stuck in a hole you can't get out of. That's all. Proceed with caution. That's it in a nutshell. I guess that's all I needed to say instead of writing an entire paragraph! Well, I'm going salsa dancing so maybe I'll find someone to 'proceed with caution' with for now ;)
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHope u have a great summer b.rye,and thank u heaps for ur patience :D
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd Phil,thanks for the tip!--Bondi is amazing :)
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol sorry b.rye i know ive totally been bugging u back and forth about this lol but what exactly do u mean by "play it out n see wat happens" are u saying "the hell with it?" sorta thing n just go visit Jamie? lol im sooo sorry im a bit slow and i just really want things clarified cause this meanas something to me =)...terribly sorry
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A
female
reader, b.rye +, writes (5 May 2009):
Being afraid to tell him already gives him control of your personal life, just to note. I wasn't meaning to poke at you. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was coming across as critical. You know, who knows? Play it out and see what happens, because you never know. You might get there and suddenly think nothing of it and will be grateful you didn't say anything, or you might fall head over your heels and will then do what you need to do. But whatever you do, have a fabulous summer break and enjoy yourself. It's the beauty of being young and NOT being in a weighted, serious, committed relationship. Enjoy this time while you have it and I hope you have the luxury of having it for as long as possible. Emotional and mental freedom are beautiful, beautiful things; don't ever forget that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): Neither you nor Alex wish to pursue anything serious, so I don't see any problem. If I read you right, you're no more than friends at college and nothing more.
Everyone is single and free to do what they like with whoever they like - Alex included. I don't think he'll be hurt by you having some fun in the sun. He'll probably be doing the same anyway. It's a few years ago now, but I remember seeing all those babes on Bondi beach with all the guys parading up and down checking them all out - me included!
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA) i dont want to hurt Alex,cause he might think otherwise about meB) i dont want Alex to feel like he has some sort of control when it comes to my personal life.
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not afraid of him,but honestly if u met a guy that was soo sweet,caring,and affetionate towards you...and u guys arnt having a serious anything or theres no label on ur status u just get along,and there might be a bit of chemistry,and since we r both taking things slow...im just not going to see Alex this summer at all and this long-time crush is coming from the states and wants me to visit...i mean,if i see the dude (Jamie) i know something physical wud happen,but apart from that we'd have fun together (thats just for the summer)And when i come back? i dunno...
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A
female
reader, b.rye +, writes (5 May 2009):
Why are you afraid to tell him?
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A
female
reader, CupidLover +, writes (5 May 2009):
CupidLover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhy must i tell alex? i don't have to,he isnt my boyfriend..im still confused =(
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A
female
reader, b.rye +, writes (5 May 2009):
Tell him what you are going to do. If he gets upset with you for it then you can either 1) cut whatever strings you have and pursue this other person, or 2) not pursue this other person. It's not as complicated as you think.
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