A
male
age
36-40,
*njoimx
writes:My girlfriend ended things nicely (let me down easy) about 2 months ago. It was ambiguous if the relationship was over, she said she needed space.Through friendly emails and sporadic friendly phone calls, I became obsessed that there was still hope for the relationship. These thoughts consumed me and I did two specific, very stupid things that pushed her away even more and shattered what fragile hope I did possibly have with her: First I spit water on her when I was completely drunk and jealous...at the time I thought it was a joke and didnt mean anything angry. Second: I drunk dialed her about a week ago and said I would f**k her up on the ice if we ended up ice skating together. By this i meant i would show her up and essentially be better than her at the activity. This was also meant as a joke, honestly.For the past month i have been seeeing a therapist for my problems, which i have identified as alcoholism, low self esteem, and being way too obsessive over this relationship. This all started when the relationship basically ended.I dont have the false hope of trying to salvage this relationship: I messed it up, take responsibility, and am now not contacting this girl ever again, as i want to show her i am sorry through actions and not empty words. But i need to improve my self esteem...I feel like a failure, I let this amazing girl slip out of my life. Will there ever be someone as amazing again in my life? How do I not repeat these behaviors in my next relationship. I will be single for awhile...i will soul search...but i need to get rid of this lonely, depressed, failure of a feeling so i can move on a be happy.Thanks for any advice!
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depressed, drunk, jealous, move on, my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): co dependency upon relationships is a classical alcoholic trait.run man run as fast as your legs will carry you
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Hi
For all the wrong decisions we take in life if there is no lesson learnt it wouldnt be life at all. unfortunately to realise the lesson its not an easy task first you need to admit your wrong doing so that you can find a wayforward. and I would like to congratulate you for everything you are doing to confront your situation I think its mature and very responsible.
Do not despair the right person will come to your life, maybe your hearts can find each other again i am just glad that you have decided to give her all the space that she needs and showing how sorry you are i think its really big.
Continue with your therapy, discuss all these things with your therapist so that he\she knows what to concentrate on, all the things that you have written in this post shows how much your self-esteem is improving if u continue like this with your progress you will be really impressed with yourself. But dont keep yourself too much away from the girls, go out on platonic dates so that u dont have to commit yourself to anything. this will help you not be desperate and end up with a wrong person because u felt like loneliness is killing you.
Jovial
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