A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i really like this guy- but hes 24 and i'm 14. i know i have to get over it, but i just can't! i try so hard but it doesn't work. I see him all the time, and he acts like its a joke that i'm in love with him when we're around other people, but when we're alone - he says he likes me too but just doesn't want anyone to know because i am "too young".how do i get over this?ORhow do i continue to pursue this relationship if the age difference is pretty wide?(BTW, he's the one thats worried about the age thing, im not.) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2009): i cant believe how many jump to the broken end of the bridge on age matters! ive told so many people so many times in a relationship do you think of age or love,respect e.t.c? not all kids are immature lets remember that and not all guys are what you say they are!!!
leave people to live thier lives will you and i do think its wrong that 24-34 dismissed 14-24 jump on thier ass!
you all should take a leaf out of quartzkitty's book!
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female
reader, jd0230 +, writes (3 May 2009):
When i was 14 years old, i had a similar dilemma, only it was the older guy after me and i wanted nothing to do with it. It is normal for you to want an older guy because you crave a love that is not coming from your family. But you should realize that this really is a big age difference for the fact that you havent been out on your own and have not experienced the real world yet. Sorry to say but you dont even know who you are yet. You will change your personality and other things as well as you grow over the next 10 years. I definitely agree though that if you were in your 20's then the age difference wouldnt be bad. My husband i 6 years older than i, but we are adults. Just be careful and don't do anything that you might regret when this infatuation is done and over with.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): he is worried because if anybody finds out he could get done for being a pervert or something even though he hasnt done anything sexual.im in the same position as u. im in love with a 19 year old although im only 14. yes u feel amazing that u have found somebody so amazing and u feel like u dont care about the age difference but u need to be realistic.my parents found out im in love with a 19 year old and said i shouldnt do anything about it until im an adult. its going to be hard and me and him r both upset about it but its the best thing to do. once ur an adult u can go out with him as it wont look so bad.but just now a young teen going out with a 24 year old...the experience gap is so wide. he is probably a very nice guy but if i were u i would try not to be alone with him so u dont end up kissing or watever. and dont try to hide the relationship as ur parents or friends will find out. ur parents will freak out and report him to the police and u dont want that. its better to avoid getting into the relationship until ur older.but watever u do plz think about wat i've said. good luck to u both.
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reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 Why would a guy of 24 want to date a 14 year old? It's illegal, she can't watch movies with him (unless it's a PG) she can't go to the pub with him, and if her Dad finds out he gets a kicking as well!
Age isn't just a number, if it was I wouldn't be going grey, my Gran wouldn't be dead and we'd all be in nappies still! We all age and mature and at the moment you are at that horrible age where you are still a child but starting to think like an adult (maturing). He on the other hand is an adult who wants to take advantage of a child!
Be very careful, you could get hurt by this guy!
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reader, Hellium  +, writes (3 May 2009):
You had BIG luck with this guy, he is honest and doing the right thing, trying to avoid it. Help him by staying just firends or so. Maybe in 5-6 years you meet again and still think "holy crap, I still love him!", and maybe then it's a better situation for building a relationship. I know how that guy feels, and no, not every 20 year old guy is a perv or has psychic problems. Its a thing about the personality. Maybe he has got the same problem as me: He has had a very difficult youth and never been really happy. And maybe It's you hwo makes him happy with your presence. I am dealing with the same kind of crap in this exactly moment, but in my case its 20-14, what still is pretty shitty. And yes, I'm running desperate, but I would never let her know. Tell him, even if it Isn't true, that you are willing to wait a few years. That will help him INMENSELY as for his feelings will become a big fat cuschion for that huge fall.@Halerine: I'm in a similar situation, as written before. And I must say, I am NOT willing that anything happens. The problem is that some peolpe just make you feel good, god damn it! And it may probably be an illusion, a scape goat. Possibly it Isn't love, because my common sense is telling me ALL DAY that what I'm feeling is wrong. But damn it, It's pretty hard to deal with this kind of stuff. I'm desperate searching solution out of this hole, and probably he is too. I think I would say the same thing as he did, but also say to you this words "Help me to forget you, at least for the next 5 years", but women never listen, and if they've got feelings for the other person, they hardly let go, and in this situation, it would be the worst thing. Just thing about your parents, and how they would react..I Wish you both best luck and hope that everything takes the right direction..wishing I have helped you with this
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): What do you think of other 14 year old boys if they are messing with 10 or 11 year old girls? You probably don't think too highly of those boys, do you? Well that's exactly what other grownups think of this guy for messing with a 14yo, only a lot more so. (And you can probably guess what they will think of you in this situation too.) There's nothing wrong with being 14 but it's just not an adult yet. Not even close. Having sexual feelings and liking older men are physical urges. It does not mean that you're more mentally mature because of it. It's normal to feel these things at 14 but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to take actions. Growing up means having all these adult feelings, but learning to control them instead of letting them control you.
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 If one is 24 and the other 34, then age is just a number. Both are adults and both have probably found their place in the world.
You are not an adult, he is and then a decade is REALLY big number. To get to his age, you still have to face what is probably going to be the most busy, intense period of your life. Going from still pretty much being a child (check your room for toys, adult women only got the kind that vibrate), to an adult with a career, their own house, income and even perhaps becoming responsible for your own family. 14-24. Ten years he has already had. Do you really want to effectively skip all that?
You also got to consider this, just what does a 24 year old male, see in a child your age. You might be very mature for your age but still.
But the easiest way to convince us all that you two are meant for each other or at least that your love is sincere then all you got to do is wait. If age is indeed just a number then you won't mind waiting until your number is 18 would you? If he loves, then he won't mind either. Love is eternal after all so what is 4 years until you are an adult of 18 (and he rapidly closing in on his 30's).
Prove you are mature enough for this by having the maturity to be patient.
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reader, mimisoph3 +, writes (3 May 2009):
 i agree age is just a number but 24 and 14 thats verryyy large and apart..if he isnt confident telling people he likes u then his not worth it.at the age of 14 u may think ur in love just because he's putting the sweatest words in ur ear but at the end of the day he's probably out wit his friends parting up and not caring about u while u cant remember a day when u dont think about him.i really think its time to move on..i know u probably didnt want to hear this but its the truth..at the age of 14 i made out wit a 18 year old he didnt know i was 14 he thought i was 15 and at the next day he never spoke to me again cuz he was embarresed and thats probably how the 24 year old guy feels.his just immature
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reader, tux +, writes (3 May 2009):
 Of course you aren't worried about the age thing because the stigma will be focused on him for dating such a young girl. We will be the outcast, the pedaphile, the person breaking the law, whereas you will only be the victim, the naive little girl who has been taking advantage of.. and there is nothing you can say or do to convince anyone.. YOU can shout from the mountain top that this relationship was your idea, and everyone will continue to believe that he forced you into it.
I would say it's best for you to move on.. The age difference of 14 and 24 is huge in terms of maturity and what each other is looking for in a partner. You are going to have different ideas then he is.. now in 4 years.. you feel that you still have a connection, it isn't too bad because at least he won't have to continue to look over his shoulder and could make it easier... but it may still be tough for a 18/28 relationship.. But often age can only be a number, but I will say you have odds stacked against you and this nowadays will not lead anywhere good.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): You get over it by realizing that if he wants to pursue this, he is a loser. Any 24 year old who would go after a 14 year old is pathetic. There are soooooooo many guys out there and I gaurentee that there will be lots of guys closer to your age that you will like as much as this guy, go find them. Please trust me, guys like that are pathetic sad people IF they act on this, I'm not saying he is because its not his fault you like him and he acknowledges that you are too young for him, which is good. But if he were to go after you, how could you honeslty have any respect for him? He would be one of those creeps that can't get a girl anywhere near his age, so he goes after a girl in junior high because he can get them. To get over him just find a new guy to like. Hope this helped.
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