A
male
age
30-35,
*lysses
writes:I was addicted to porn and masturbation for years. I decided to stop doing engaging my habits and I am happy that I have succeeded. The problem is that I have no interest in girls or relationships anymore. Before I was too afraid to try and date, now I just don't want to. There is no desire to talk to or engage people especially girls. Is this common? P.S. the porn I was into at was amateur stuff and hentai vanilla stories not the over the top productions, so I don't think it has anything to do with unrealistic expectations of women's bodies or sex
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): OP be careful if you decide to read into the Men Going Their Own Way stuff, they are a well known hate group.
http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2012/spring/a-war-on-women
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2013): the comment written by "A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013):" is the best. thumbs up. esp the MGTOW part
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male
reader, ulysses +, writes (13 June 2013):
ulysses is verified as being by the original poster of the question I used to spend my time looking at porn but now I am pursuing other interests like reading, creative writing, learning computer programing and Japanese, as well as working out. From my point of view porn kept me interested in women. I wanted to explore their bodies and engage in relationships with them but after I stopped masturbating and watching porn I have little to no interest. I have a small interest in sex and relationships but no interest in doing what need to be done to get into a relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2013): The previous female ann. poster commented on your earlier post..."I think it's easier for me to give up on girls rather than work on myself"...in quite a harsh tone, which is unnecessary. You have no desire in women or relationships and that's perfectly fine (I'm actually like that, and not gay, just not interested in other's BS for the sake of 'being in a relationship'). As long as you're happy with yourself, nothing else matters - especially society's norms and expectations, which are mostly ridiculous. Case in point: You said you're not interested in women/relationships and look at the advice/opinions from everyone else - speak with a therapist, you may have a mental disorder, go work on yourself!. You might be surprised to know that there is a growing movement of men who are straight, but aren't interested in women and enjoy pursuing other areas of life. It's called Men Going Their Own Way. And that's not abnormal; weird; or grounds for a mental disorder. It's just a way of life that's different from society's expectations for men, which is typically: Spend loads of time and money chasing tail, form several 'meaningful' relationships, eventually settle with 'the one' whom you supposedly mesh with best, meet the parents and family, sign the dotted line for a marriage contract, have kids, get divorced, retire and die. One last thing about women/relationships: It never ceases to amaze me how you, being you, as an individual with a unique identity may not be good enough for women and thus, the average man has to 'work-on' himself to attract a woman's attention to form a relationship. Would you really want to be in a relationship with someone who supposedly 'loves' the character you made up, but secretly wouldn't think twice about you if you were just being you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): "I think it's easier for me to give up on girls rather than work on myself"Sure, it's easier to take the lazy route rather than to work for something. The question is, can you choose the lazy way and still be happy? I don't think so, otherwise you wouldn't have posted on here to start with. I mean, why does it matter to you if it's common or not if you're going to carry on choosing porn over relationships no matter what we tell you? I apologize if I come off as harsh, but I feel you're wasting time asking this if you already knew you weren't going to take the advise we give you. I have self confidence issues myself. I feel I'm not attractive. I realize most women have this problem at some point or another, but I have a reason. I inherited all the bad genes in my family as far as looks go, and hardly any of the good ones. I'm not ugly, but I'm definitely not a looker either. Everywhere I go, I see women who I feel are much prettier than me, and get much more attention from men, even if it's for the wrong reasons. Does that mean I should give up on men, sit home in front of a computer, and masturbate all day? Is that the advise you would give me if I were the one asking this question? I very much doubt it. If you were looking for confirmation to keep on what you're doing, you came to the wrong place. I very much hope that in the end you decide to take the advise the others have offered you.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 June 2013):
 I suggest reading the website yourbrainonporn.com. It deals with this in great detail including how to get past the issues that can occur after heavy long term porn use.
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male
reader, ulysses +, writes (11 June 2013):
ulysses is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was masturbating at least 4 times a day and spending the whole day in front of the computer watching porn. I know for a fact that I have low self esteem and confidence and I think it's easier for me to give up on girls rather than work on myself
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female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (10 June 2013):
 My guess is that you didn't really want to engage with real women before you started watching porn either, whether you realized it or not.
Watching porn and masturbating aren't bad. I do both of those and I have healthy relationships - sexual and romantic, so the two things don't have to be mutually exclusive for the average person.
An "addiction" to masturbation goes much deeper than simply liking to get off. And if your "addiction" was completely in place of real relationships than that really, really goes much deeper than simply liking to get off.
I'd recommend a therapist. Sounds like you're a little antisocial.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I don't know OP, I don't think this has anything to do with porn really and more to do with probably the reasons you became addicted to porn.
Not wanting to engage anyone and especially girls is something worth speaking to a professional about.
First you fear dating now you don't want to to talk to people? Sounds very much like you have some form of social anxiety that is more than normal.
Read up on social anxiety disorder OP and see if any of it sounds relative to you.
Well done for beating your porn addiction, just be careful with this whole withdrawal from people thing. It very much sounds like it could be depression or some kind of social anxiety. It's worth checking out both possibilities. Just understand though OP, there's nothing wrong with not wanting to associate with people for short periods of time, we all need social breaks too. I have phases where I won't leave my house for a week or two and refuse any social activities in that time just to have some time to myself and recharge.
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