A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A year and half ago i happen to know a girl through her relative. She was living in Singapore and i was living in UK. But we both were from Nepal(asian country). She was there since she was 8 or 9 living with her parents and two siblings. Her family was completely a typical nepali family. We started chatting through facebook and other social medias like whatassap and viber. I was so impressed the way she presented the way she talked. We did our best to know each other over the chat and phone calls. I just felt shes the one for me. We were asking each other our personal intrests secrets everything. stuff like ex boyfriends and girlfriends. We started liking each other and we talked about marriage too.I takled about situation to my family members and some close friends. some of them were suggesting me not to marry a girl whos raised in singapore becouse they are not good enouhg to make lifeparteners as they are wild and love to have relationship with multiple men. but i was standing all alone against the my relatives and family who told me that. Because i believed simply they grow up in these kind of envaronment doesn't mean they become one of them.And we agreed to meet first and see how things will go? We met after 10 months we have known each other in Nepal. And she is beautiful. If i can say im a good looking guy too. Our couple looked just perfectly matching. And with on wasting time we decided to get married. And we married happily feeling blessed. we both were over the moon. Every our relatives praised our couple just more then they do to average couples. But as things progressed i was finding her far more experienced in sex. All the time she was telling me to do this and that, this way and that way. Instrusctions even before sex. i started wondering how can someone who has slept only with a man can be so experienced. ? Then i googled her with her nick names and found out her doing freelance modelling with some singapore modelling websites. when i asked about why she never thought of being an model? she said she is not that kind of girl. not intrested.But how come she is in those websites with nude pics? i was shocked to death. i asked about that but she refused to tell me.. but after three weeks she told me she was a call girl. she started since 2009 while she was only 19. 1st she worked with an agency and later she became independent. this was so shocking for me. I felt like im burried alive. Now Im shattered and hurt. i just cant believe how stupide i was to trust her and not to ask anyone hwo knew her. the best thing i have thought i have done is just porved the worst thing i have done. I just want to divorce right now. but whenever i see her face i cant forget that i fell in love with same face. Thats the only reason i couldnt kick out her form my life. Then she says loves me alot.. She just wants a chance. So that She can prove she can be a good humanbeing, a good wife, a faithful wife, The wife i dreamed of. Im trying to give her a chance but she is super jelous she smashed my fone on the pitch just becouse i got a sms from old female friend. i just how can a prostitute be so jelous? and my question is can i trust her any more? should i stick on with this marriage?? If i do so what kind of things could i face in my life and if i dont what will happen? any suggessions ? please your suggestions mean my marriage and most importantly my life . please help me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2014): Well, I wouldn't call her a bad person for being a call girl. Her lying to you and possibly having cheated on you is what's bad. A call girl can be a good person and a good wife. Don't slut shame women for being sexually open.
Anyway, in your situation, I would divorce. Not everyone can handle this type of truth and in, your case, yes, it's very shocking and a big blow to your relationship and sense of security. You'll constantly be asking yourself what else she's hiding. And her smashing your phone out of jealousy is a red flag too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2014): A good person would not inflict severe emotional hurt on someone they claim to love just because their own past actions are becoming inconvenient now. If you really love someone then you will hurt yourself to spare their feelings, not vice versa.
She has shown her true self and it is not pretty. You found out early. Take that as a blessing in disguise and split up with her now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 September 2014):
 Seems like you bought the cat in the bag. She SHOULD have told you BEFORE the vows. YES, it being an escort IS HER past and not ALL who she is, but it's A HUGE part of who she WAS. NOT being honest about that with you, is deceit. My guess is she KNEW you would NOT marry her IF you had known.
PURPOSELY withholding this from you was not an accident. IF you CAN NOT stay married KNOWING she was a prostitute before meeting you, the ndivorce her. LET her find someone who can love her for WHO she is. ALL of who she is.
You even call her a prostitute. Which she ISN'T ANY MORE - but you can not SEE past, HER past. So the marriage is doomed.
End it, wish her well and next time don't jump into a marriage without knowing your future wife better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2014): Firstly, I feel sorry for your situation. Its hard and honestly I've never been in your shoes but let me give my opinion as a woman.I think you should give her chance and make it in a limited time you need, like 1 month or 6 months? Look how she behave, can she be a good wife she describes? My concerns is can you fulfill her sex drive while she's more experienced than you? Usually in asian culture there should be man who lead and more experienced in sex (whether the man is learning from porn movies?) Its just my opinion as asian too :)She's not being honest with you from the first and that's not a good sign. Ask her the other things about her and see if she want to be open up with you or she's still trying to cover up about herself. The next is let your heart lead you whether you want to stay with her or no. In this time, please don't get her pregnant as that will complicate things and you'll be trapped even deeply. Don't have a child with her until you can trust her. Hope this help:D
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (29 September 2014):
 She's still the girl you married The past is something niether one of you can change. Plan the future and forget the past.
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