A
female
age
,
*adyluv1962
writes:I just royally screwed up. I started seeing a married man. I told him it was over because I knew it was wrong after we became sexually active. Now the feelings of love wont go away. When I didnt care he did. Now I care and he is distant and saying he wants to be friends. He has been admittedly playing head games. I am trying to get my life together but still have strong feelings. Now, suddenly he acts like I dont exist, but says he wants to be friends. What do I do? I sent several texts and told him to come over this morning for coffee and talk. I need words to say? I am confused and so is he!
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female
reader, blackchange +, writes (4 September 2009):
theres r alwayz set rules towards that game. u knew wat it was about form the beginning. now ur emotions r involed. have u thougt just maybe the reason u want him so much is becuz he doesn't want u. u alwayz want wat u cant have. n plus u said it urself hes nt interested n i know that must drive u crazy. rules r alwayz set hes married n u knew that form the start so if u fall thats ur falt. emotions r alwayz involed wit a marry man or woman alwayz. but there r certain rules that musnt be crossed if u decided to get involved. n getting emotionally involved isnt one of them. take a step back u will find ur situation a bit more interesting.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (2 September 2009):
 He's not confused.
He seems to be clear on the fact that he wants a sexual relationship with you. He gets everything else from his wife. All that "let's be friends" bullsh*t is a game to get you close so he can lure you in with sweet talk and get your legs to fall open again.
That's what happens when you date a married person. They can't commit to you because they already have someone.
Leave him alone and find someone single that you can commit to and who doesn't play any games.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 GRRRR!! You know, it's not just men who do this, women do it too! So, when I say what I'm about to say, please don't blame "men". It's all OK when these people are getting what they want, which is a bit on the side. The excitement and thrill of doing the wrong thing by their spouse with someone who will play along. But....when the other person doesn't want that secrecy and deceit, the fun is over. He is not confused about anything, he wants his cake and to eat it too. Please don't fall for his lies, the fact that you don't want to do it tells me you're a decent girl who deserve better, (and so does his wife!). Give this jerk the heave-ho.....the quicker the better, so you're free to meet someone who deserves a decent woman. Good luck! :)
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A
male
reader, Perspicacious  +, writes (2 September 2009):
There is one big issue here that you can not lose sight of - he is a married man.You may have made a mistake by having an affair with him, but you did the right thing by stopping it.Even trying to be "friends" now will be playing with fire. The feelings you have make it wrong, for starters, and there is a good chance he is just playing with you in order to get you back in the bedroom. Playing "hard to get" is hardly a new tactic in sexual relationships, is it?I know it will be painful to do, but you really need to end this relationship now and get him out of your life completely before it gets out of hand.You will get over him in time and hopefully meet someone new (and available!) to fall in love with.Good luck!
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