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anonymous
writes: Is it right for my husband to contact someone he has had an affair with? I feel betrayed and think that he should have no contact whatsoever?
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reader, rainbowshoes +, writes (20 April 2005):
You and your husband have a lot of trust issues to talk through and sort out. He has to earn the trust back that he took from you. Explain to him that if he wants to save your marrige he cannot have contact with the woman that is a constant reminder of what went wrong. Men can be very stubborn creatures so don't shout or scream. Talk rationally to each other, explain how this makes you feel, how the affair made you feel and how he can earn back the trust you both need for your relationship to remain strong.In turn do not suffocate him, although it will be hard if he feels trapped he will not be as receptive. If he values your marriage as much as you obviously do he will try his best for both your sakes. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you both. I think you have been very strong - keep it up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2005): Of course you are not wrong! His affair continues as they are in contact. He is taking advantage of you by having his private fun without you. Kick him out of the house (he can stay at his parents or friend's place). He is and acts immature so he can live like one without the comfort of married life. He may bring you sexual disease as well as other sufferings so protect yourself and shut him out until you know his feelings toward you. If he wants out give it to him; make sure you get a good lawyer to help you get on comfortably through this ordeal. Most men who cheat are worthless husbands anyway, don't feel too hurt.
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