A
female
age
41-50,
*herly515
writes:I'm having such a hard time letting go. Last week I posted about my now exbf that I found responding to craigslist ads. I was angry, hurt, and all the emotions that go along with it. I cut contact with him last week and have had little contact, until today. I found myself emailing him to tell him how much he hurt me, and how what he did made me feel. Then the phone call. Again, with him completely denying that he sent the emails, with his pictures attached, to the craigslist postings(one for a threesome and the other two to I'm assuming women). I again had him telling me that he did not know how I could think he could do such a thing. All last week I felt very strong. Yesterday, about half way through the day I started feeling very down and depressed and woke up feeling that way. I have been crying on and off all day. When everyone says get out and do something, for me I just can't for fear that I will fall apart and start crying in public. It's almost as if the anxiety takes over and I just cannot control the tears. I do not want to take any types of medications, as I want to be able to get through this on my own. Today, when I was feeling the urge to email and call I did try calling both of my sisters and two of my friends, but nobody was home. Maybe I should have posted here then as I feel as if I have had a huge setback here. Part of me misses him and the other part knows he is lying to me and just is never going to admit it. I hate the feeling of not having control over my emotions. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up with all the feelings gone, but I know that is not realistic. Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, Cherly515 +, writes (14 September 2010):
Cherly515 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much. Last night I actually read the responses to my post last week over and over and over again. I made a list of all the positives/negatives. Actually the positives really don't come close to the negatives. Even if they did, the more I have learned, I am dealing with someone who has MAJOR problems that I do not have to allow in to my life. Could never see myself living that way.
I feel 1000 percent stronger today. And if I may have a down day I will review the emails, the lists I've made, etc.
Today I have actually felt productive. I have enjoyed relaxing and watching tv. The feeling of anxiety has lifted. I feel like I will be comfortable going out and doing something enjoyable.
You have no idea how much I appreciate your response.
Thank you!!!
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Ok, when you feel like this go re-read every ones messages to you in your last thread. There is NO WAY it was spam. He went online and propositioned others for sex. You deserve so much better, but have to find a spot inside your heart that believes this.
I told you last week - keep yourself busy. Go out with friends, admit to people you are hurting and ask them to spend time with you, pick up hobbies or continue enjoying your old ones, go on a trip with you friends, go out with your friends. Sitting around and willowing at home will only make you depressed and want to talk to someone - him. TAke on a big project. Just do anything to keep yourself busy - go and get a complete makeover (go to a spa, cut and style your hair differently, shopping for a new closet, go to the gym) and make yourself a better you.
Things will be better, but you need to be the strong girl you were last week.
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