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female
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*ISSAMERICA4U@AOL.COM
writes: Me and my fiancee have been together for 10 years, since we were in high school. We are both 25 and recently had a baby who is now 7 mos old.He wants to marry me and I want to marry him, it's just that I think he's holding back because we are strapped for money at this moment. I think he may want a big wedding and I do too, but it doesn't matter if I marry him next to a dumpster. I just know that I love him to death and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. We are both set on our expectations out of life and are doing a well job at getting there. I am willing to wait but I want to go further than this in life. I want to have more babies and I am not waiting til I'm 30 to have another one. lol. I want to be married before I go any further than one child. I feel like if I talk to him about it he won't listen to me or he will turn it around or take it the wrong way. I am not trying to rush him, but I think after 10 years we are ready. We set a date and then he decided to buy a house which I was fine with so we called it off because of the money situation. But that was 3 years ago. We just got over a struggle in our relationship that proved to us both that if we can make it thru that we can make it through anything. How do I tell him how I feel?
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reader, pops +, writes (9 July 2005):
Do a simple wedding now. You can always have a bigger wedding later when you have saved the money. Its quite the fashion in the States these days.
Tell him you love him, and want the two of you to marry. Then suggest what I advise above. Seems to solve all the concerns, no? Then you two need to sit down and figure out how your are going to deal with the fiscal crisis. I suspect you will have to go back to the workforce, rather than stay home and raise your child. That can involved more expense, but this is the same problem being faced by parents all over the world. To get time for the two of you to " date", and be alone at least once a week, check with parent groups to see if you can't find a couple or two that live near by that would be willing to babysit your child one or two evenings a week in return for you babysitting their child an evening or two a week. That way, you won't incur any more expense, and no one with young children has much money, and never have had. pops
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