A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi..i am hoping for some advice..am hoping for a male point of view...here goes.I met a guy online..a dating site..we chatted every night for 3 months on msn..he phoned me and text. He had seen photographs of me (I am 47...he is 39..I am uk..he is italian). We arranged to meet and he came to my house for a couple of days as he lives a distance away. All seemed to go well but he told me he does not always understand english conversations..what is being said etc. Before we met he kept speaking of places we could go etc he never spoke of anything like that while here and although he had seen photos of me I feel he was disappointed when he actually saw me which made me feel terrible as he had always said it is the brain which 'engages'.When he left early in the morning (as he had plane to catch) he did not wake me..but left a nice note..saying he had enjoyed it and would let me know how his journey went...he signed it 'lots of love'..I dont know whether i am just feeling insecure and wondering if he did like me. I text him..he replied..and then he text me later about journey...i said he should have left me with a kiss or woken me up..he said he did not want to wake me/disturb me..and said he thought of kissing me..came in the room and changed his mind...am I just being paranoid...he never made any arrangements to see me again either..I will not text him..but am just wondering what others think..I know at my age i should not be feeling like this and take it in my stride..but I am feeling stressed out and feel that I may not have shown my best side (not that i have one..lol) Any help appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): I dont think it had anything to do with a best side, age or looks. You either `click` with someone or you dont. Regardless of how old or what they look like. Thats why there are loads of people happy together....that you would never dream of putting together as couples. He just wasnt as you expected.....was he! And you might not have been as he expected. As AuntyEm quite rightly said. 2D and 3D are not the same. Dont let it faze you. Send him an elegant message saying how nice it was to meet him and leave it at that. But a word about dating sites. If you see someone you like, get a meeting over with fast rather than waste months chatting first. All the best x
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (13 January 2010):
You have already received some good advice from AuntyEm but just to add, next time you plan on meeting someone try also talking on webcam so you can get a feel for each other's mannerisms and body language. Ofcourse it still doesn't give an accurate percept but it does help give a more complete picture.
Don't think about it him; its his loss.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 January 2010):
 Don't beat yourself up or over think this situation. Maybe he was a little dissapointed but really it was his problem and not yours. I also think it was a little rude of him to leave without saying goodbye properly to you.
The internet can give a false sense of security where new relationships are concerned. Speaking to someone(who you have never met)online every night for a few months can lead to a lot of hope being built up and when two people meet face to face and the old rules of engagement apply it can lead to dissapointment when we discover they arn't as we imagined. Two dimentional and three dimentional are not the same thing!
Don't doubt yourself, I am sure your lovely and there will be further opportunities for you to show it...your only 47 for goodness sake!!!...a mere spring chick...don't let this blokes poor behaviour tarnish your view of yourself.
The very best of luck to you and lots of love,
Aunty Em xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 January 2010):
I don't think he was disappointed. To be honest, I think it's more likely he just used you, which is sad. It wasn't your fault. Plenty of women have been jilted by crap guys and have made the mistake of thinking it's their fault. It's not. You're a great women. Keep sifting through all the worthless men, and you will get there.
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