A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for 3 years with this girl now. Last year, she moved to another city with her family. She used to call and message me all the time. After 3months,she joined a college for her further studies. She became friends with a guy from her class. Since then, she keeps talking to him all the time. When I call her she says she's busy talking with that guy as she has an exam the next day and he'd clear her doubts.when I call her the next day she says she's tired and she wants to sleep. Whenever she had an exam she talks to him the whole night. When I call her , she says she's tired and hangs up. This has been going on for 4 months now. Whenever I get angry,start crying and start yelling at her for not giving importance to me, she hangs up and doesn't answer my calls the whole night. Next day she messages me saying that she loves me alot blah blah blah. Again After two days she stops replying my messages. She only talks with me like for 10 minutes a week. When I message her she replies for a few minutes and doesn't talk after that. Should I break up with her? But once in a while she talks really sweetly saying she loves me so much.from the very next day she starts ignoring me. She doesn't answer my calls when she's busy with that guy. She doesn't even call back. I can't go to sleep at night I keep thinking of her. She doesn't care that I'm crying for her or anything. She doesn't give me any importance what so ever. I've told this to her a million times but she still does the same. None of her friends know that she's in a relationship. She says she doesn't want to reveal her personal life to her friends.it really hurts. Am I just being too desperate or she's the one that has to change? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2013): Thanks for your help. :)
A
male
reader, Dodds  +, writes (25 July 2013):
 Dude, what do you mean asking if you should break up with her?? Brother, she has moved on long ago and is just stringing you along for validation purposes.
Stop communicating with her and further degrading yourself. You're a man of value for heaven's sake.
When interacting with the fairer sex, pay attention to what they DO, not what they SAY. It'll save you tons of heartache.
Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): I know you care about this girl, but crying and shouting is emotional blackmail, and you shouldn't use it to try to change your girl. The changes would have to come from her, and I wouldn't hope for that to happen, because your girl doesn't seem to want the same things as you. Whatever her reason is, she doesn't want to talk as often as you want. She can't give you as much time and attention as you'd like. Maybe it's the exam-related stress, maybe it's the guy, or maybe you're just not compatible. To be honest, I find it slightly concerning that you've been seeing each other for 3 years, but all her friends think she's single. You're the one that knows her best though, and you're the one that needs to talk to her. I'd avoid making accusations and just ask her a) if she's okay or if maybe there's something going on other than the exams; b) if she's still happy with you overall; c) about her new friend (if you're going to see her anytime soon, you could suggest it'd be nice to meet him). If you're not happy with her answers, I'd take a step back and consider breaking up (sorry). Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2013): break up with her. she doesnt care about you, trust me she's only calling you and saying she loves you when this other guy is gone and shes feeling sorta lonely...ur the back up guy, the second plan...
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (25 July 2013):
 Yeah, you're being too desperate. Why are you still with someone who, for the most part, isn't giving you the time of day? Do you just want to have a girlfriend, and are not willing to return to the single status even if it means clinging to this girl with unrequited devotion?
You're still quite young. It's not unbelievable that, even after three years, the two of you want to move in different directions. Enjoy your young adulthood, and explore other options rather than foolhardily staying in a stale relationship. Appreciate this relationship for what it has taught you, but move on from it.
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