A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I split up from my long-term partner about 2 1/2 years ago at around the same time an old flame from school split from his partner. Coincidentally we met up a couple of months later and began seeing each other. At the time it seemed like the perfect fairy tale ending to me but very early into the relationship he told me that he was not over his ex and that he didn't feel ready for a relationship and only wanted to be friends. I was devastated as I cared for him very much. Two years has passed since he told me this. During this time I have bumped into him often as we both live in a very small town and neither of us have found anyone else. Last weekend we were chatting on Facebook and somehow we agreed to meet up for a drink. We had a lovely evening, we met at 8pm and went for a few drinks, he came back to mine for a coffee (that's all) and left at 2am and he said how much he had enjoyed himself. Throughout the evening I was very careful to make sure he felt comfortable with knowing that it was just a friendly drink and nothing more. But, the truth is I am still hopeful that there could be more between us. Whilst we were out a friend of mine came over to chat and apologised to him for interrupting our "date". I was mortified but he put his hand on mine and said "no problem". What does this mean? I don't feel that I can tell him how I am feeling as I would rather just be friends than face rejection again, but is there any chance that he may have changed his mind about not wanting a relationship and is it possible he may be interested in something more than friends with me?
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (15 August 2010):
 I think what the anonymous poster told you is very sound advice.
I would just add that if he agreed to meet with you, went home to your place and stayed until 2:00 a.m. and said how much he enjoyed the time together, plus the incident when your friend came over to chat, that there is a good chance that he at the very least likes you - or he wouldn't have stayed so long - and POSSIBLY is open to considering more.
I think that making it clear to him that it was "just coffee" was a good idea, and I wouldn't be in any hurry to let it go any further than that (I mean, don't rush into bed with him) at this point.
Just see how he behaves with you (as my "colleague" said) and take it nice and slow.......good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): wait for a while. see how he behaves with you. if he likes you he will show it and say it. don't say anything on your part. if you meet with him he will understand that you like his company. if he loves you or wants more, he will say. and pls do not act more than friend for now.
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