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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Is it time to call it quits in the relationship when you have a lot of doubts/questions about your girlfriend?We've had talks about my feelings and 'trust issues' before. But, the same things seem to be happening over and over. Is it because I can't get them out of my head. Or the fact that she's still acting the same way even through we've talked about it.Suffice to say, I've been questioning myself a lot since last night. To see why I'm putting myself through this relationship if I have so many doubts about her ... Maybe I am harping on that she might eventually change. But, it's been well over 2 years and seems to be going around in a circle ... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, cherub +, writes (11 January 2007):
 It all depends on what are the trust issues.If it is to do with she goes out alone too often,flirts in front of you or anything like that and she knows of your feelings and showing no regards to it,and you know that you cannot change the way you feel about it then maybe it is time to let go and find someone who can compromise.Even help you to be less troubled by your feelings.If the issues are just little things like looking at other guys,friendly to all guys etc then maybe the problem is yours.You need to talk it over and learn to accept she is a really friendly girl and guys will find her attractive.That is probably what attracted you to her in the first place.Build your own self esteem,she is with you afterall.You must be coping better with it now since it has been two years.It does seems she does not want to change.
However,my belief is that people do mature,so if your girlfriend is young then there is a possibility that she will change a bit.
There are saying of you like her for the way she is in the first place so should accept her and not change her but that is a conundrum for if she wants you and knows it pains you then surely a little compromise is not too much to ask if she loves you.
Ultimately if you think she is worth it then try to change yourself because you can only change yourself not others unless they realise it is a problem for them and is willing to change.If not then sadly maybe it is best to move on as the problem will rear it's ugly head time and time again until you lose loving feeling for one another.
Best of luck.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (11 January 2007):
 What is she doing to make you always doubt her? Has she been unfaithful to you in the past, which is why you have trust issues with her? Or are all these feelings you are having an insecurity issue on your behalf?
If she is doing things that make you doubt her, then i don't think she is going to change, certainly not after two years, as you say you are going round in a circle.
Maybe it could be time to call it a day.
Good luck
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