A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybody, basicallly had a 2 yr relationship with a girl, I love her to bits still do, she broke it off over commitment issues, during the 2yrs i treated her like a queen (in hindsight not the best way to go). We have remained best friends over the last 6 months or so, as expected some fights mainly over her moving on very quickly, seeing people etc. anyway long story short she has just told me she was cheating on me with a guy for a year in our relationship I actually shudder now thinking about it. I think I have taken it well just really really gutted, memories are stained now. So me being me i don't want to cut her off, even though all my friends say i should, and she still wants to meet up all the time. What should i do, is my love for her blinding my judgement or should i just follow my heart and let whatever happens happens. I'm just emotionally drained now, all i want is to be happy. Thanks for any advice/comments
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male
reader, AzzTeejay  +, writes (17 April 2009):
If you want to be happy, you need to cut this girl off.Mate i cant tell you on how many levels she's disrespected you.God damn it mate, your a MAN, have some RESPECT for yourself and tell ANYBODY where to go if they treat you like trash.Seriously mate, if i was one of your mates i'd majorly slap some fucking sense into you.I know you love her but man she broke up with you so she could get fucked by other guys, she was even doing it before she got the balls to break up with you.She's gutless, untrustworthy, she's a monster of your heart. She's got you running around to her call.Get RID of her man and save your health. Im tellin you, get angry, tell that bitch where to go. You will start to feel better within 2 weeks TRUST me.God damn it, Grow some hair on your nuts and stand up for yourself fella.Im sorry im soundin harsh but you need a fuckin reality check brov.Good luck to you man, i really mean it. I hope you gather the strength to break free and find a real woman who has morals, self respect and respect for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): You said you want to be happy. Switch this girl off, give her a wide berth and leave some space for happiness to come into your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): I don't know, my friend. I don't really agree with the two answers here. You love her. So you care about her. Do it on your own. Take time away from the relationship. I would recommend avoiding conversation and contact with her for several months. It will be very hard. Maybe explain it to her if you are in touch, but really hold yourself to it, as much as you want to call or write. If it's really meant to be then she will still be there for you after a few months. If it wasn't meant to be then a better relationship is waiting for you. Taking time away from her doesn't mean you have to stop loving her. Keep doing what your heart tells you. But focus on you. Are you the person you want to be? Maybe something is missing in your life that she provides for you. You will find new strength after several months without contact with her. DO NOT have a rebound relationship. You will discover a new strength and patience in yourself. Well, I'm just speaking from personal experience because I've been in your shoes. Part of it is about becoming a man. I hate to put it bluntly, but it's true. Think about how pathetic it is for our gender to be so torn up over a chick. I'll bet you have trouble focusing on stuff. You need to let those feelings hit you without any distractions: booze or anything else until they stop. Time will allow you to make a better judgment about what's best for you. But I don't believe it's possible to just "move on." In fact, I think you could live the rest of your life wondering "what if?" if you just move on. So don't just move on. Love her. But do it on your own. And you may just find yourself thinking some day that the best thing you could give her was that space. Maybe she'll really decide that she misses you and then the ball is in your court. You will have more power in the relationship than you obviously used to. And I don't mean in a bad way. You can take things slowly and focus on the non-sexual part of your relationship with her: like building trust again and actually being friends. I can't tell you how much you will grow, though. You will have to grow someday. You are obviously not emotionally developed for a lasting relationship with someone you really love. You can either do it now and get it out of the way, or continue to be dependent in future relationships. This relationship won't work out unless two things happen: you grow and change, and she misses you enough to come back.
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A
female
reader, SimplyDelicate  +, writes (17 April 2009):
This has happened to me as well.
Well Similarities are great ...
The best thing to do ... is not close your mind and heart to other ladies. Moving on is the best thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Mummy08 +, writes (17 April 2009):
 I understand that you love her but she obviously didnt love you and as harsh as it seems you do need to move on its going to hurt for a while but you need to cut ties with her for a bit and clear your head untill your comfortable your feelings for her aren't going to get in the way thats the best way forward and in time you will meet someone who deserves you.
Good Luck
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