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male
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*andy22
writes: Please help...someone.Things were going excellent in my relationship with my gf. We were both in love with each other, I'm sure of it although we never professed our love officially to each other. We were extremely close to do so though. One day we got into a big argument and since then things have been absolutely sour, I don't feel like I love her any more and I know she doesnt either. Why don't I love her? I want to but it's just not there anymore, no spark whatsoever. I'm having committment problems now, I want to profess my committment to her but I feel something is missing ever since that argument. Can love just evaporate? extremely distressed.
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reader, candy22 +, writes (26 October 2005):
Dear LucidCupid -
To answer your question. I know that I get happy when I talk to her, and my mood gets much better. I do miss her when the thought of us being together isn't there anymore. I also care for her deeply, and get affected when she is distressed, I get happy when she is happy as well. I saw a beautiful girl the other day, who tried to pick me...I got excited but then the thought of my gf sunk in and this beautiful girl was just a face to me. I think this girl (my gf) is the one...I'm too scared to admit it to myself because what if I am wrong?
What are your views please?
A
male
reader, LucidCupid +, writes (18 October 2005):
You seem very sure of your girlfriends feelings yet you don't seem to have any idea about your own.It's an interesting situation.Firstly you really need to assess what it is you feel for her.Was it just infatuation all along?Alot of emotions are fickle,but love isn't one of them.So no,it can't just 'evaporate'.Perhaps you were just in love with the IDEA of being in love with her,then when this nasty argument arose it took all of the shine off what was a predetermined ideal of who you thought this girl was.It does rock the emotional boat alot when things have been going swimingly then all hell breaks loose,but if the issue remains unresolved you'll just end up resenting each other.Talk to her.But decide first if that 'spark' has really gone,or is it just a case of wounded pride that has clouded your judgement?She'll be feeling hurt too so you need to talk this out.Couples argue all the time and get through it.One fight shouldn't mean the end of a relationship,and if it does then there were bigger problems to begin with.Communication is the key.Discuss how each of you felt BEFORE the fight,DURING the fight,and how you feel now.What to do next will be much clearer to you once you've both opened up.
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