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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Your thoughts please... (this is a follow up question to a previous dilemma)!We went on 2 dates in the space of 1 week - both driven by him. Of course, he seems keen to get me into bed, but I'm not ready until I get to know him / know what he's about! But I did like him.Then I went away on hols over Xmas for 1 week and there was minimal contact between us whilst I was away - one or two texts.I returned and called him...we talk (briefly, as he is visiting family) and he's lovely. Says will call me back. Everything seems fine between us.I then heard nothing! I assumed he has moved on to the next victim and didn't contact again.But today, I get a text from him asking how I am...11 days later!!My question: Should I act casual and not bothered (even though I am?!). Should I wait a day before replying to his text? I know it's very early days but don't want to let a man think I can be picked up and dropped whenever the mood takes him. Don't want him to think I'm a drama queen, either, nd drop me for that reason.Or, am I making an unneccessary big deal out of this, and should just continue to go with the flow....until we get to know each other better?Background: He's an extremely busy person and travels abroad every alternate week (he is a pilot!)...followed by a week off, where he still remains busy travelling over the UK visiting friends and family (and possibly, other women)!!. He is 41 and I am 33.Any advice is greatly appreciated.Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): Hi All - thanks for all your replies.
Well, it seemed to take a long time for my question to appear on here...so I did text back a few hours later just a nice text, as though nothing was wrong. (Wish I'd have waited 2 days now - following Irish's advice!! ;-)).
Anyway, he'd text me back immediately, saying he would call me later, once he gets his mobile battery charged.
And he hasn't called!! That too has bugged me. I just hate it when men imply they will call you that same day...and then don't. Maybe he will call in another 11 days or so...
But, I will keep my cool, continue to date him again (if it goes that far)...and won't sleep with him - will test him to see what he's about.
Thanks again for helping me feel a bit more confident. I've had so many knocks that I'm terrified with dealing with men now - so scared of how they will read into everything!
xx
A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 He seems a busy guy, I would text him back but make it jokey such as "oh hello how are you, you had a busy past few days?" well something like that but obviously your own words! Yes it's early days and I wouldn't worry so much and I wouldn't limit yourself to just this guy either i would look and see who else is out there and catches your eye.
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2007): He's 41, a mature, older guy and he has a busy career. While it's likely he is kept busy with his job, it could be possible he has other lady friends. But, you can't just assume that..because you do not know for certain. The point is, you've both just dated two times, nothing is exclusive and committed between you both and you both are 'free agents' to test the waters of the dating world and date whom you please. Because you are in this beginning phases of getting to know each other, I don't think you give up on him-quite yet.
I think you are making a big deal out of all this. I think you should just relax and go with the flow. By what you say, you are not overly texting him, you are not acting needy, desperate for his attentions. I think you are a smart cookie. I think you are positioning yourself well, in this situation. Whenever he's in town, date him but keep it in perspective. If you don't rush to have sex with him..I have a feeling he will respect you all the more. This is also a very good test to his character. What have you got to lose...if he dumps you because he can't get you in the sack, right off the start...then what does that tell you about him? Go slow and feel him out. I wouldn't answer his text for two days. And when you do...make it fun and short. But don't be afraid to let him know..you have a fun, wonderful life with out him in it. Most men this age love women who have strength, self-respect, are independent, and who have other things to keep them occupied without depending on them to give her a life. Think smart and if it works out for you both...right on! If not-chalk it up to a life learning experience, stay positive and move on. Good luck and have fun!
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (13 January 2007):
 I like the 'go with the flow' idea. What have you got to lose? But I agree not to sound too keen by acting as if you were just waiting for his call. Just bear in mind that you may become even more attached to him and he may be someone who has a girl in every 'port, but we also have to take a chance in life. You sound as if you have your head screwed on.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl  +, writes (13 January 2007):
 heres wut u do u say he didnt text u in 11 days then dont text him for 12 days see if he texts u back sayin r u mad at me say no i was just busy wut bout u so ur tech. playin the game he played but with the age difference i would say he wasseein women his own age
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