A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 14 months. We have had an extremely tough time of it- we spent the first 4 months together, fell madly in love, and then I moved away but we decided to stay together. As a result, over the last year we've seen each other only about 5 months out of the 12.While we were apart, I found that I couldn't cope without the male attention I got from him, and I couldn't help myself from flirting with other guys, even though I didn't find them attractive at all. What I thought was just innocent flirting leading to friendship, was actually a desire for them to find me attractive despite being completely in love with my boyfriend. He has now seen photos of me acting too close to other men and is distraught. I can't lose him. What can I do to show him how much he means to me, and how can I change?
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female
reader, Beckto +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Consider Been There Done That's advice, and also think of this:
Do you think you are at the right time in your life to handle a long distance relationship? Lot's of people break up simply because one has to move away. You're still young and very much in the right to want to be a "social butterfly," want attention, and even to flirt. It kind of comes with your age-group. It's an exciting time in your life!
You can't change how he feels at this point, except by giving it some time and showing him that you can be trusted to not cross the line. But, that will take time, and I'm sorry to say that it takes even more time if you're in a LDR (long distance relationship).
LDRs are so difficult because it's so difficult to grow together, let the relationship grow and develop, and have important every-day life experiences together. I've had a few unsuccessful LDRs and one successful LDR (who I married later).
You can still love and like your boyfriend, but decide that it's not the right time/circumstance for you. I'm not saying to break it off with him, but know that this is a possibility for you.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (11 July 2007):
 Hi there babes,
There is nothing wrong with a little light hearted flirting so long as it doesn't step over the mark....
How would you feel if you saw the same photographs of your boyfriend in the same situation, I don't know what these photographs contain so try looking at it from that point of view....
I am sure you love him and would not want to hurt his feelings, he has to trust you as well no matter how far apart you both are.....
Talk to him tell him you were enjoying other males attention but that is all it was hun...
I am sure you can resolve this between you both but like I said babes I have not seen the photographs, sorry if I have seemed harsh in anyway...
You have asked how you can change just remember everytime you flirt a little if it were your boyfriend would you be happy with his actions if it were him?????/
Good luck darling
All the best
Love Donna xx
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