A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, So I've always liked this guy. Ever since middle school I've had the biggest crush on him. I'm in college now, and we've just started corresponding last summer. We used text each other about once a week or so. I could tell he was generally interested in me (or at least I thought so) He lives in a different city from myself but he travels to my city almost every weekend. He kept asking me to visit him but I never had the chance. I let him know that i had feelings for him after a while and we just had sex for the first time let month.after this we talked more frequently and I was ready to take the relationship yo the next level. I was just getting ready to visit him next weekend but when txt him to ask if he was gonna be available that weekend for company, he told me that he was involved with another girl. I was hurt and I haven't spoken to him since. What do I do now? Should I wait for my turn? I really like him. Or should I just let him go? Did I have sex with him to early? Why would he lead me on like this? I can't figure out his actions! HELP!
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Why would he lead me on like this?Because telling a girl you don't care for her and only want to use her body for some meaningless sex tends not to work to well. I tried.This is a bit like asking "why did my cat still the salmon and eat it?"Because he wanted to eat the salmon.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): I would say get on with your life and forget about him, I dont think you slept with him too soon, it you knew him awhile and met up with him, he showed you he liked you in so way and you also liked him, so its only natural. BUT i would say don't have sex with him again, because you could turn into the "sex girl" also the fact that you dont live in the same city as him would be perfect.Please don't fall into this trap, he is never gonna be totally 100% your guy, you will always be sharing him and while it might be fine for now and fun and exciting and you really really like him, down the line your feelings will only grow stronger, you will want more commitment from him and he will not be able to give it to you and you will only be hurt ten times worse by that stage, be friends with him if you want to, but don't have sex with him, find a guy that likes and cares for you enough to want to be with you and only you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Should your wait for your turn ? Heck no ! You are not in line at a soup kitchen for destitute ,sex starved young women ! You don't want the scraps !
What should you do ? You should learn from this, and in future , never have sex with a guy BEFORE having found out for sure that he is single and available ( if you do mind sharing your man ). I know that some girls don't want to ask straight out , because they are afraid he thinks you are clingy or needy or jealous.... Who cares what he thinks, if you want a monogamous guy and a monogamous relationship it's your right to ask for it, and your duty to check carefully how things really are.
Did he take advantage of you ? Yes and not. Yes, if he'd been more of a gentleman he would have not seized the chance for sex , knowing, or even suspecting, you had feelings for him. No, because in this promiscuous , thrill seeking, carefree society, casual sex is not such a big deal for many people , including many girls, so it's absolutely not implied that having sex means necessarily something important to both parties. So yes, the guy is a jerk, but technically speaking he had not promised you anything, -
you just have assumed that since YOU were ready to take your story to the next level he was too. Assumptions are always risky. In a perfect world there would not be need for caution in relating to people- but, alas, the world is not perfect.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Let him go, not worth your time.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Yeah, he's an asshat. He's in love with only himself is why he took advantage of him.
The lesson learned is never to put the cart before the horse. Meaning, never ever have sex in order to establish or to hope that it will cause him to want to be with you. You have sex if you're already in the close relationship and he's already really into you. The key is TIME.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Let him go, he took advantage of you and your feelings for himHe's worth zero and I hope you continue to ignore him. Save the sex for somebody who cares for you when your in a proper relationship. Write the other guy off as a lesson learnt, we all learn the hard wayx
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