A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've recently reconnected with an old friend via facebook. Back in college we were really close. We had on and off romantic engagements but managed to stay really good friends despite the rollercoaster that our trying to be involved with eachother created. After college we would occasionally email eachother, but not very often and we lost touch.Now that we are back in touch with eachother, she has been "encouraging" me to come and visit her. It has been 5 years since we last saw eachother. She lives half way across the US. After thinking about it for a while, I decided that it might make for a nice vacation and told her I would come to visit. Since then I've had two things going on internally. Part of me hopes something will happen, part of me doesn't. I find myself thinking about her a lot more again and the last time we saw eachother (we spent the night together). Enough backstory, my question is: should I make a move? I don't want to start anything serious with her because we live too far away from eachother and the logistics just would not work. However, we had one of those relationships that was almost a FWB scenario. The last time we talked on the phone it felt like our connection was still there. We talked for hours just like we used to. I find myself wondering if she's feeling the same way. The plan is for me to stay with her while I'm out there. Neither of us is currently in a relationship so there are no hang ups there.Is it ok to maybe have a fling as long as we're both clear about where things will and won't go?
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male
reader, Mickey2492 +, writes (24 February 2010):
If its anything i know about flings its that they can be very risky business.Even if your aware of the circumstances, you nevet know if your emotions will just kick in for her again.Personally relationships are an all for nothing thing and a fling kind of falls in the middle. Try to figure out your true definite feelings for her first. Continue to talk with her, get to know who she is now and see if shes changed or not. Also, theres no rush right? If you still have enough fire for her than go for it, but if not, tell her, but honestly dude the last thing a girl wants is to feel like she was used for a "fling" no matter how much she says its "ok". Just be aware of her feelings as well.
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