A
female
age
30-35,
*sears1989
writes:I need help. I don't know what to do. My ex who broke up with me in September cause he couldn't see it working now says he wants me back. Part of me says to say no while the other part says go back. I don't know what to do. I still love him and want to go back but because of everything that's happened im not sure if i can.
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female
reader, Dsears1989 +, writes (15 March 2011):
Dsears1989 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe way he treated me when he first broke up with me. The fact he didnt seem to care and just weve been on and off for so long now kinda worry what happened before will happen again
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 March 2011):
 you are feeling hurt. You have been through all that horrible rejection stage, and I bet that felt just horrible.
And yes you still love him. But what about him recognising the deep hurt you have been put through?
It seems he has finally (in part) seen the light. He is realising you are the 'real deal'.
And he has realised he loves you and he's realised he's missing you.
He wants you back.
And you love him.
But it's not that easy. He does need to atone for all the pain and heartache he caused you.
And of course he has to do enough for you to want to, and be able to forgive him.
Work out what you want most:
1. Real recognition that he hurt you?
2. Real understanding of how abandoned you felt?
3. A truly genuine apology that is acceptable to you
4. Something else?
Wait for him to truly make himself clear that he wants you back?
Wait to hear if he feels all the issues that concerned him before are resolved.
If you are satisfied with his position and attitude then ask him for the things you want. The conditions that need to exist for you to accept him back.
Then sit him down. Tell him that you love him. But also Tell him what you need and want from him before you will feel comfortable.
It is sometimes very challenging to ask for what you want. But it is important. And it is honest. It is real. So if he wants a real woman woman he needs to be as real too.
If being that honest and that real is too much for one or both of you it will be so sad if two people who love each other cannot be together because of unresolved issues.
So fingers crossed for you, no matter how things evolve, and i hope it is a result that is right for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): What happened that's giving you doubts about going back to him?
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