A
female
age
30-35,
*ennyMsc23
writes:Hey guys, So i am in need of advice! My boyfriend and i have been together for almost four years now. To get to the point here. I am bored!!!!Its a cnfusing situation tough because i do care for him dearly. The last time i tried breaking up with him he made me feel really bad and it was hard for me to let him go. Sometimes i cant see my future without him. I mostly think that is because i am so comfortable with him. Then i dont want to start all over with some other guy either. As of now my boyfriend and i are not imtimate at all! Its not that i am not attracted to him but i just dont feel like putting in the effort. I dont know what to dooooO!! Reply to this Question
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reader, JennyMsc23 +, writes (23 April 2012):
JennyMsc23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know what your saying. Its just hard to do it because i feel like in the end i will regret it. & i feel like i wont ever see him again. I know i need to find myself believe me i do. I just dont know how to.
A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy  +, writes (23 April 2012):
 Jenny if you feel there is nothing left then end it Hun we only live once and to be living a life that your not happy with is a waste. Your young and I think it's time you go and find yourself again we always tend to loose who we are when in a relationship. Take time for yourself go have fun let loose get it all out of your system be safe whist finding yourself again and you will know when your ready to give a relationship another go but you need to feel good about who you are I know this is very stressful trust me I've been there so many times just gone through it again after 5 years of me thinking it was going tops yep to my supprise it finished I cried went through all the crap feelings but here I am having a ball being me and ive learnt alot. I wouldn't change a thing cause I'm stronger Put yourself first mate
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A
female
reader, JennyMsc23 +, writes (22 April 2012):
JennyMsc23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ thisiscrazy, you make a ton of sense. I have told my bf how i felt plenty of times. His response is that we should work it out and that we shouldnt give up. I am a very insecure person. Ive been this way since i was very young. AT first it was love, but now i feel like i just care for him deeply. We see each other everyday because he is kind of living with me at the moment & he hates that i go out! He is very possessive, in the beginning he was worse but i deff put my foot down on that. He still is possessive but my only reaction to shut him up is to ignore him because i dont want to deal with the drama. & all my friends are all guys. I grew up with four brothers, had gys friends forever! ugh idk just writing this stresses me out.
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A
female
reader, Thisiscrazy +, writes (22 April 2012):
I need to ask a few things so I can help you better1. Have you told your bf how you feel? 2 are you confident within yourself ?3.What are you willing to do to put that spark back into your realationship ?4. Do you love him or just care deeply?5. Do you both have your own time away from each other and go out with your friends?Now I will add that if you wanted to break up before but didn't because he made you feel bad then your staying in a relationship that is doomed..You will end up feeling anger towards him for making you feel you had to stay so he didn't get upsetYou need to put yourself first and workout how you feel inside4 years is a long time but to stay because you don't want to start all over again is crazy you are stopping yourself from experiencing all the emotions your missing out on now.A relationship should be something that dosnt feel like a task or work it should be fun , exciting, lustful, laughter, love, friendship, intimate something you think of that makes you smile and feel great. Yes there will be something's you will need to work on but that's the exciting part not the job.You sound like you are feeling depressed and this is why you don't want to put the effort in and this all goes back to the point I mentioned about staying with him because you didn't want to hurt him huni your the one who is hurting. I would love it if you sat down after reading this and think about you all about you and then let me know what you see when you have stopped thinking about his feelings and focused on your own.. I hope this helps you realize just how important your feelings are
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A
female
reader, wingedlocket7  +, writes (22 April 2012):
Honestly if you feel like that then there is something very wrong. ask yourself if he was gone tomorrow would you really care? If the answers no then its time to end the relationship and stick to it. if you really dont want to start another relationship then take some time out for yourself. go and explore the world your still young and have plenty of time to fall in love again. if the passion has gone out of the bedroom try spuce things up and talk to him. men rely on communication
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