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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi all!Heres my story in brief.I have met the love of my life when we were both 20 but she dumped me.I did everything to get her back but I was hitting the wall.So, I found someone else and got married to forget her(I know its stupid)10 years later I met her by accident we had a cofee and I realised I am stil in love with her.But I already had 3 kids.I had to take medication and spent lots of hours with a 'shrink' to recover.Another 10 years after that we metmet again accidentally.Now I found she has been married for some years,2 kids,but divorced her husbund beacause he had a girlfriend.We (re)fall in love.I did not last long though for she dumped me because she wanted a husbund and not a lover/friend.For the last some years we are going on/off and the last time lasted for 2 months.She admitted she had some short term relationships when not with me and we discussed everything.She also had some very important medical problems when we met 20 years ago and thats why she keep having lots of medical tests all the time.I am always there for her when she's going through all these things but she kicks me out when everyhting is OK.This is the 3rd week after she dumped me again this time because she feels it is not moral to have nice time with me just to cover her needs,since she does not really love me but only loves the things we do together.She said is not the right thing to have a sexual relationship with a married man nor is ok that I get a divorce to be with her.Saturday we met and had a great time.She texted and told me many times until Monday noon how great time we had but she feels guilty.Monday night called me she cannot go on like this.Her last sms was 'I will very much appreciate if we do not talk again ever'.Funny thing I have sold her some things for the house and has not fully settled the account (I was not insisting,really).Cannot get her out of my mind.Should I just call her for the balance and see what happens? After being dumped so many times after 20 years,should I be such a fool to continue this game?Please give me some feedback
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): I think you should acknowledge that sometimes you can love someone but that they bring out your bad side, and visa--versa. You just are, and never will be, any good for each other. Your relationship seems to be like this, 20 years experience shows it.
Get the money off her and make a promise to yourself that things will never lead back to any kind of relationship with this women. Focus on your family and you will one day forget her.
A
female
reader, Taija +, writes (1 September 2006):
 hi there, in my opinion it sounds like she only really wants to be with you when she wants or needs something. 20 years is a long time to be chasing her. we only live life once i think its time to move on and not be pulled into this game. delete all numbers and other things that you have of hers and continue living your life. you dont need to have someone do that to you hun and its not fair on you. its like you are being restricted of finding a true person when you keep worrying about her. if thats the case im sorry but she is not the love of your life people who are meant to be stay together and not do on and off situations if it hurts one or more parties. i hope you make the right decision for your sake. good luck. :o)
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