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female
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*htbr
writes: Dear Cupid I have been broken up with my ex of 5 years for over a month now in the beginning of the breakup I tried to get him back about after a week of not talking with him I called and tried to get him back and he said that he had moved on and he never called me back. I sent him e-mails and letters but never got any response I then stopped writing and trying to get him back. But recently for the past two weeks he has called me and e-mailed me over the time we are broken up I have heard things about him. So what do I do for now I don't pick up when he calls because I don't know what to say to him and I also remember how bad he hurt me so why do you think he is calling me after he already said that he moved on?
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female
reader, myamashi  +, writes (22 June 2007):
It sounds like the age old case of you want what you can't have. I've been in a very similar situation at a time and I know it's hard to let go in the first place. Now, your emotions are being drug back into the roller coaster you finally got off of. Here's my advice, stray away as fast as you can. You already put your heart into the relationship, he ignored you. You already tried to show him you cared, he ignored you. Now that you've backed off and showed him that you don't need him anymore, he's crawling back. Unfortunately, there is now "nice" way to say this. Obviously, since the break up after every advance you made, he did not care enough about you or the realtionship you shared to meet in the middle and make things work. You need to protect your heart and any future of loving someone else again. Basically, once things have gone this far, there is no turning back. All you will do is create a pattern and set this relationship up for failure. Perhaps this young man is not ready for a serious relationship and he'll need a while to understand why you persisted. And, by a while I mean a while. Unfortunately, these things do not happen overnight. In the mean time, enjoy being single, do everything you ever wanted to do, and when you feel happy that you've accomplished those goals, then think about settling down. Until then, why not take advantage of the drama free, no hassle relationship with yourself?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Sorry to be a bit of a killjoy, but do you think he had eyes on someone else? He broke up with you to see if he could get it together with someone else? especially as he told you he'd moved on. Maybe things didn't work out the way he planned so he's running back to you. Don't rush into things and make him wait, if he really wants you then he will do everything in his power to get you back and make amends. Let him stew for a while and if hes not prepared to give you commitment after 5 years then you've got to tell yourself and him it's well and truly over.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Wait another week and then give him a call, ask him what it is he wants and listen to what he has to say....if after 5 years you think that he should be asking you to marry him, then don't let him back in your life unless he makes a committent to you, otherwise, you may be wasting your time unless you just want to date the same man another 5 years, it is up to you of course.
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