A
female
age
41-50,
*ojane24
writes:I'm 33 and have been engaged for a little over 4 yrs. We have been together alittle over 10 yrs. My fiance' and I just purchased our home last Dec. We agreed to purchase the house 1st before getting married.We are now working on our wedding plans but are having trouble communicating. He gets very angry very quickly and we recently are having trouble intimantly.Over the last 4 yrs I have gained approx 65- 70 lbs and he has just recently told me about 3 months ago that he can't get interested in me that way until I lose weight. Obviously at first, that hurt me greatly, but I have been going back to the gym and I noticed losing some weight. I want to be intimate w/ him and recently I think my clock is ticking where I would like to start a family soon. I know I'm partially to blame as over the 11 yrs we have not discussed any children in the future but this is crazy! Now we recently had a huge fight and he stormed out of the house this past Monday at 4am! since he works the 3rd shift (that's where we hardly ever see each other, yet that's how we met working the 3rd shift together 11 yrs ago) and I haven't heard or saw him at it's Wednesday 10:30am! What should I do? I need to talk to him, yet he is giving me the silent treatment and he has done this to me before and threated to leave (move out) but that was when we had our apartment, now we have our house and I'm told he probably won't leave as we just purchased this house! I NEED HELP PLEASE!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH--mojane24
View related questions:
engaged, fiance, lose weight, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (21 September 2007):
 I am glad that he is being mature and talking to you instead of running away. I hope that everything works out for and you guy. Sorry, I called him a jerk but that is what he was acting like, the comments about your weight hit a soft spot for me. Anyhow, good luck!!!!
A
female
reader, mojane24 +, writes (21 September 2007):
mojane24 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank everyone for giving me advice. I finally had the nerve to call the house while I was at work (I was afraid he might not answer the phone as he saw my # on the id. He agreed to come home & to talk. One the 1st day that we started talking, we agreed on some of the issues I was having but disagreed on other issues. He kept interrupting me & then we bickered back & forth. All that happened two nights ago (wednesday). This morning (Friday) we talked some more & actually kissed & hugged each other. I wrote him yet another note as to continuing where we left off from the other night. The most important issue that is at hand right now is communication. Both of us need to be on the same page & not to assume what the other is thinking/doing. Confusion & misinterpretation comes into play & a fight can occur.
Again, I want to thank everyone for their input. I needed some advice as I love this man & I am in love w/ him. We have been together for so long & since he temper gets the worst in him, I sometimes don't know what to do. I will keep you posted, thanks again! :0)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): say something completely off the wall to him or tell him youll do something to him he hates if he dont talk to you this is the things i always do he snaps right out of it and busts out laughin and says he is sorry for fighting in the first place
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): He is just too immature for you. I think you do deserve better, do not put up with this silent treatment. Dont wait for him to speak to you, give him an ultimatum, if he doesnt snap out of this childish behavour then he can move out. Get rid, because he will never change, and this will only lead to misery in the future.
take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (19 September 2007):
Wow. This guy really sounds like a jerk. In my opinion the house was a bad move. After the comment about your weight are you serious about having a baby with this shallow person? What is going to happen when you gain weight due to your pregnancy? This does not sound good. REAL LOVE is unconditional. You need to do some real soul searching and think about what your next step is going to be. If he comes back you need to let him know that adults do not run out of the house and away from there problems. If he does not understand that then you need to think about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with a man like that. You shouldn't want him to stay b/c of the house you want him to stay b/c he loves you and wants your relationship to work. So many women make the mistake of holding on to something that is not good for them. He has no reason to give the silent treatment, it sounds like you are the one who has been mistreated. Good luck.
...............................
|
