A
female
age
30-35,
*ora_Bird
writes:Okay, after a break up who initiates friendship? The person whose heart has been broken or the person who broke the heart? My exboyfriend and I were great friends before we dated and we did agree to being being friends. I miss having him in my life, its hard to go from having an intimate relationship to having zero contact. Advise please?!?!?!!?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): I broke up with someone nearly three years ago after 6.5 years . I never want to speak to them again.
You seem to think you guys can be friends and that you wont want to take it further , your fooling yourself.
It didnt work out, be sad about it but you have to move on.
A
male
reader, the badluck clover  +, writes (11 November 2009):
well now. for your original question and the given circumstances their might be some awkward feelings. im not gonna say that everything will be like it was, but there's a good chance that you'll be happy with the turn out. then again things still might be different then before. you have every right to initiate the friendship and given circumstances ridsmost all the earlier stated depends. just be careful and protect you'r heart. good luck. if ya need anything feel free to message me.
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A
male
reader, the badluck clover +, writes (11 November 2009):
well now. for your original question and the given circumstances their might be some awkward feelings. im not gonna say that everything will be like it was, but there's a good chance that you'll be happy with the turn out. then again things still might be different then before. you have every right to initiate the friendship and given circumstances ridsmost all the earlier stated depends. just be careful and protect you'r heart. good luck. if ya need anything feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, Nora_Bird +, writes (11 November 2009):
Nora_Bird is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey here is a little background info on my ex and i: We met roughly 2 years ago and had a connection immediately. He asked me on a few dates but nothing ever happened for the first year, I was only interested in friendship. We developed a close relationship as friends, and last summer he told me that he had strong feelings for me. I started to feel the same way and we dated for a few months until he went away on an 8 month long trip. We did the long distance thing, texting and weekly phone calls. He came back last May and he were together ever since. Three weeks ago we broke up with me, I was so shocked. We fought sometimes but not nearly as much as other couiples. His reason was that when I hung out with him and his friends, he felt awkward. This doesnt make sense because I was friends with some of his close friends before even meeting him and I got along with all of them so well. I am not a clingy dependant girl, or nagging or embarrassing, Im generally laid back. He is the only guy I know that is pretty much perfect for me, Ive never felt this way about anyone. This is the longest we've gone without contact since we've known eachother.
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A
female
reader, Nora_Bird +, writes (11 November 2009):
Nora_Bird is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere is some back ground info: I met my ex 2 years ago and we immediately were friends. He asked me on a few dates, but were mostly just friends for the first year. After a year of knowing eachother, he told me he had very strong feelings for me; at this point we began dating until he decided to take an 8 month trip. We did the long distance texting and phone calls for this period of time. He came back last May and we've been together since then until 3 three weeks ago he broke up with me and I was shocked. His reason was that he felt awkward when I hung out with him and his friends, which doesn't make sense because I got along so well with them and I wasnt clingy or annoying. So this is the longest I've got without being in contact with him since I've met him. I miss our friendship and wonder what he has been up to.
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A
male
reader, the badluck clover +, writes (11 November 2009):
there's levels of depends in this situation. whether or not it was a smooth break up, how long you guys dated, how close you guys where. if it was rough then the broken heart should decide, if it was smooth meaning an understanding on both ends then either can attempt. if you dated for a long time than the healing takes longer, not to mention how close you guys where meaning how strong the feelings where, also makes the healing time take longer. during the healing time the broken hearted may not want to see the heart breaker for feelings may still linger or the meeting may bring up old pain. still depending on the break up, a break up may some times leave questions unanswered and a lingering thought of what if. if you decide to go thru with it keep in mind these questions or discussions may come up. prepare yourself, what ever you do goodluck. oh and p.s. speaking strictly from history for a man theirs always the one that got away that really grips us in a way and doesn't let go.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): I've been in the same situation very recently, unfortunately i was the heartbroken (although i'd like to think he was a little heartbroken too)If you've both agreed to be friends, then i think the heartbreaker may wait for the heartbroken to approach the friendship thing (after all it's hard to judge when the heartbroken will be ready?) For me, i found it impossible to not phone my boyfriend, as like you said it's very hard to go from being best friends and in an intimate relationship were you see each other everyday to nothing, and it would be a shame to loss what you had especially since you were friends before, but you need to make sure that both of you realise it's just friends and want the same thing.
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A
female
reader, la petite belle +, writes (11 November 2009):
 hello, I personally think, that it takes a lot of guts to be the first one to initiate A SINCERE friendship with your ex. I also think that it is admirable but at the same time I also think that it is hard to do if you know that the feelings are still there. I think that the healthiest thing would be to let the feelings time to heal and then you can safely and honestly say "hi, it's good to see you again, Im glad to hear that you have met someone.."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009): i believe that after a break up both of yah guys need a little break after everything its settle i think that the one that did the break up shouldnt even try to built a realtionship because their is alot of heeling for the other person that should be the one that calls to built one after she or he gets or the breakup
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