A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend left me and doesn't want me back. I asked him to collect his stuff from my house and go for good. He still hasn't been, do you think this means that deep down he doesn't want to go for good and just wants a break?I can't cope without him, we've been a couple for 9 years!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): I would not necessarily get your hopes up, and that is possibly what your doing.
One thing that seem evident is you seem lost as to why and possibly he has not really faced you with the questions you have.
I think after 9 years together, you deserve or perhaps need some closure. It could be his lack of finalizing or collecting his things are because he may not want to face you. Depending on why he wanted to end the relationship, it is difficult to comment.
Honey, whatever the outcome of your question is, you need to find a place in your existance where you can move forward from where you are now. That takes a long time and also tends to take its toll.
Start to think about some of the shitty things about your relationship, the times when maybe you felt that you could do better, or you were not so happy. The void is the hardest part. And, you need something else to fill the void for a bit, until you get right back up again and look forward to the things to come.
If you are confused, right it down, give him a letter and ask him to help you either get closure or understanding, I think he owes you that. If he is not prepared to give that to you, then you need to see this. Feel this and take notice that you probably alot better off in the long term, although is doesn't feel that way now.
Does he want to go for good? Only he really knows. But you will be able to tell, from how he treats, respects and acts with you. Ignoring you may not be a good sign. It certainly is a sign of an immature guy who can't follow through.
All the best and take care.
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