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After 5 years into the relationship, and don't know what to do..

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Faded love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2010)
A female South Africa age 36-40, *illyred writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 and a half years now. We were only 18 when we started going out. At the beginning i was completely crazy about him. For the last 6 months things have been going a bit strange for me. I really thought i wanted to get married to him, or i wouldn't be in it for this long. I've been making excuses not to have sex with him anymore, and its gotten to the point now where i don't even want him to kiss or hold me at all. I almost feel repulsed by it. I don't find him attractive anymore although he isn't a bad looking guy. I think about being with other guys often now, i really don't understand whats going on with me. Hes so good to me. Why do i feel this way.

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A female reader, Lillyred South Africa +, writes (20 October 2010):

Lillyred is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the responses,i really appreciate them. I do realise that grown tired of him and am even willing to admit my taste in men has slightly changed. And as much as i hate saying it, i know i have fallen out of love with him. What i do not understand is, how something like this can just happen? where is the reason for it. How do some people stay married or be together for 20+ years and still love eachother. Im so scared that its just a phase that will pass and i will regret my decision. And i do dreams of getting married one day, but so terrified now that this will repeat itself with someone else.

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A female reader, Lillyred South Africa +, writes (20 October 2010):

Lillyred is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for the responses,i really appreciate them. I do realise that grown tired of him and am even willing to admit my taste in men has slightly changed. And as much as i hate saying it, i know i have fallen out of love with him. What i do not understand is, how something like this can just happen? where is the reason for it. How do some people stay married or be together for 20+ years and still love eachother. Im so scared that its just a phase that will pass and i will regret my decision. And i do dreams of getting married one day, but so terrified now that this will repeat itself with someone else.

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A male reader, DeadEyeDick United States +, writes (20 October 2010):

DeadEyeDick agony auntCant help you on the part of not wanting to even touch him anymore, this is some weird phenomenon, that ive noticed chicks(probably guys, just not me) seem to go through, but as far as thinking about being with other guys, sounds like your a normal healthy young women, who was with a guy at a very young age, and hasnt gone out and tested the waters, EVERYBODY!!! wants to explore themeselves and explore sexual life, it's like Lobster, lobsters without a doubt hands down the ultimate food ive ever eaten, I absolutely love it, and would have it everyday for the rest of my life if it was possible, but the truth is, if I did have it everyday for the rest of my life, eventually it would all of the sudden not be as heavenly and delicious as it once was, it would probably become pretty dull, and id lose my taste for it, now this is in no way the same thing, but in alot of ways it's the same thought process, at least thats how I see it, you need to go have sex with other guys, experience life, I know it's much more difficult then that, and it's going to be painful, but your ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO JUST START BEING RE-INTERESTED IN HIM! IT is only going to decline, until eventually you 2 hate each other, stop it now, before it gets to that point, especially if you 2 get along well and you wish to remain any type of friends

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