A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's been 5years, me and my boyfriend. We had argued several times about the idea of he being the giver without me sharing anything in return. I do admit my mistakes but at the same time I felt I don't deserve him. He been such a good boyfriend but I wonder why it is hard for me to express my feelings even after 5years. Is it because we've been seeing each other almost everyday? Spent time together most of the time. Is it because I'm getting bored on this relationship? Fyi he is my first boyfriend and we are still together until now. At 1 point I guess I just love to be in the comfort zone, to have him as my dependent variable. I realised I'm being selfish. Should I end up this relationship? But apart from that he refuses to let me go. Which I guess he never will even after I did nothing for him. What should I do now? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2010): thanks for the tips. however my boyfie prefer me to express it verbally. I did express my feelings physically, hold his arms whenever we walk together, give him cards and lovely messages especially in the morning, I even spend time more with his family members rather than mine as my family is at the end of the world so I rarely see them. I thought what I did is enough and yes I do need "me" time but whenever I tell him so he will starts sulking. Sometimes I have to lie to him just to spend time with my friends because he will definitely mad at me if I and starts complaining whenever I told him I'm going out with my friends. I know he loves to be cuddle but wanting me to be with him 24/7 makes me suffocated at times.
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Breaking up with a person because you are bored with them sets a pretty bad pattern for your future. If you were married, would it be fair to divorce him because you were bored? You'd be hurting yourself as much as him.You need to do two things. First, start seeing each other a little less often. When you do see each other, have lots of physical contact (kissing, sex, cuddling, mixed martial arts, whatever works for the two of you).Second, start actively trying to create excitement in the relationship. If you know you're not a giver, start being one. It's not hard. Take him to a place you've wanted to go for a while, or have a day where you basically treat him like a king. Go dancing. Have a day where you spend the whole day together, but have to communicate solely with body language and gestures instead of words until midnight.No one will ever be able to excite you forever unless youare an active participant in your own happiness. No one, not even your boyfriend, owes you anything you are not willing to give yourself. Stop being bored and start doing something.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 October 2010):
 Seeing each other everyday for the past 5 years? Phew, yeah I'd be sick of him too. In a relationship, it's best not to be stuck up each other's rears and have your "you" time. Time spent by yourself doing an activity you enjoy, there's little to no contact with your boyfriend during this time. Activities such as getting your nails done, going to the spa, reading a book, even spending quality time with your friends and family. You like being in the comfort zone of having a boyfriend and someone who loves you. But it looks like you need to have some independence and your needy boyfriend needs to give that to you. Or break up with him because of all your doubts, you had a great 5 years it's been wonderful, but you just need to have some time to yourself and possibly a fresh boyfriend within time.
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