A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:After 42 years of marriage my husband unexpectedly left me for a younger woman. I really did not believe anything was wrong between us, i am totally and utterly heartbroken by his deceit and coldness.It is beyond belief the way that he told me, we had taken our grandchildren out for the day when he very calmly anounced to me and in front of the kids that he was moving in with this woman, and that our marrage was over.The terrible thing is i am still trying to hold on to him, for eg. by phoning and asking for jobs to be done and even mentioning to him i need help with bill paying, etc etc.I do this in the hope he might come back. Please would someone help me with advice. I am at my wit's end, and feel like giving in. Thank you
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female
reader, mizz-bella-bambina  +, writes (3 October 2008):
It seems your husband was very low to not tell you that he was unhappy,so that perhaps you could have worked things out.How could anyone treat someone they love so cruely.You are better off without him,although it may be difficult for you to see clearly at this point in time.It must be heart breaking for you. Try to seek some kind of counselling to help you through your grief. Has he come back, or tried to come back? I read this post a few months earlier and have since wondered what has happened between you and your husband.Would love to know!I feel very sad for you.You deserve better than to be treated like that after all those years of marrage.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Ive been married 40 years and ive been mistreated in every way you can name.i,m going to leave soon,i realize he had me believing i couldn,t make it on my own,and that i had no place to go,and all this kind of stuff.i am a singer songwriter i sing country gospel,and i love to travel in the ministry,he has never tried to help me .and never will.so id say good riddance!
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (6 May 2008):
 I feel so sad reading your post. You spend 42 years of your life with someone and they do that to you? Did you ever get an inkling what a cad he was during your marriage?
Ok, we often hear of older men suddenly running off with younger women... it happens... but I just can't see how someone can be so cold and heartless in dealing with a person who has been such an important part of his life!
I agree with the aunts. This is the time to start living your own life. Pamper yourself. Get some interests and hobbies. Travel. Spend time with your friends and grandkids. Don't live your life as though he's coming back (how could you have him back after what he did to you?); live it as though he's dead and buried. I know how heartbreaking and totally unexplainable his sudden departure is, and it's going to take a lot of heartache before you can come to grips with it, but having this man out of your life might actually be a blessing in disguise.
Go out and live that life, and good luck!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (6 May 2008):
 Take this time to work on you. Get a new hairdo, get into an excercise routine, go out with friends and just generally find a way to be happy and content. Try to be independent. You may find that you really are enjoying yourself instead of sitting home pining for him.
Men want to be with women who do not need them. He will see the new you and wonder what is going on. This will intrigue him but meanwhile, you may find you like your new single, happy life. So give yourself a chance to blossom and realize he may have given you a gift!!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Oh Honey,
My heart goes out to you. What a cowardly thing to do, tell you in front of your grandchildren, use them as foils, so that you would have to remain composed. Are you sure you want him back? I bet that the sweet young thing isn't going to want to look after him in his old age and that he comes running back if something goes wrong. I would keep the door open just as you are doing, not that he deserves it. After 42 years, you have every right to fight for him if you still want him back. I hope things work out for you. I'm sending you big hugs. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): First, I am sorry for his lost. My parents who was married 30 years at the time separated for 2 years and I was shocked when my mom let my dad back into the house because of the attitude she portrayed to others. She begged him to come back all the time but she tried to make him feel guilty . My thing is to evaluate the last 40 years of marriage and not that I am saying you are at fault but mom had issues too. YOU may be better off without him or you can wait the rest of your life and hope he comes back. Indulge yourself in all the things that you have always wanted to do. I pray for your strength.
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A
female
reader, X-Imi-X +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hey,
I know im only youngish,
But i do have quite a lot of experience,
I'd give it a month and if he's still with this woman,
Call him and just say to him,
Right, when are you coming to pick up your stuff,
And when he comes around to pick them,
Just ask all happy and jolly and act like your happy,
For him,
He'll soon know what he's missing and will come crawling back to you with his tail between his legs,
42 years of marriage wow,
How did you put up with someone who could be so cold?
Please email me privately,
If you wish to speak to me furtur! x
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