A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Three years dating and I'm still introduced as a "friend." Hurt like hell but I'm stupid. He's a sweet guy in other ways, we get along SO well, he cares for me and it's obvious in how he helps me and soothes me when I'm down. People say he's in love with me. I thought so too, but then, why the "friend" label when I meet friends of his? I asked and he's said that I'm obviously more than a friend, he says he loves me. But still, he does this crap. So. I decided that if that's the way it's gonna be, that's the way I'll act - as a friend. Don't touch me, don't kiss me, don't call me pet names. I'm gonna go ahead and accept dates that come my way. Since I only have a "friend" I'm very much single! Think I've wasted enough time. Though I love him, I'm fairly sure I'll get over it with time...I really can't let my self-respect keep getting beatings like this. I don't need to "break-up" either right? We're just friends! I'm tired Aunts and Uncles and maybe just a bit out of mind. Should I just become what he says I am? Or flush it down entirely? He's 15yrs older than me, not married (never married,I know this for sure), no kids, and he's South American. I'm of African and French descent. I really thought we had something special...and I now, I feel like another girl tricked. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2013): I think after three years that yes it is not a lot to be seen or introduced as his girl .. It's about owning stuff.. That's my mum. That's my dad .. So I can see why you want to be known as his girl ..But before you fling it all away .. Why not sit down and say look we been in a relationship for three years .. And I need to feel respected and loved and I don't feel that when you continue to introduce me as your friend .. I understand it could have been a slip of the tongue, but if you want us to continue then that needs to stop.. If it is you just see me as a friend then really we need to lay our cards on the table .. I'm quite happy to be friends if that's what you want? But believe me that's how it will stay . I need a man who will love respect me and want the world to know he does , if that's not you then just say...You have every right to walk .. But at least give him a chance to make it right and you can sit and hum beyonces single ladies tune lol words are very apt here.. If he likes it, then he better put a ring on it, before someone else does . Haha Take care sweetie
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 April 2013):
 You would end a three year relationship that is going well where you are treated properly over a WORD?
Have you told him you are going to start dating others because he CALLS you friend but treats you as gf?
you are willing to walk away rather quickly... what else bugs you about this?
...............................
A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (4 April 2013):
 After three years, you're not being "tricked". If you truly didn't like being introduced as the "friend" you would've stopped showing up as the "friend" a long time ago. He can't do more than what you let him. A man that loves you, CLAIMS YOU! Think back to any other significant relationship you've had in your past. I bet they made it known beyond the shadow of a doubt that you were his and he was yours. "Friend" with regards to you wasn't in the vocabulary. And you're right. You can't "break up" with someone who doesn't claim to be in a relationship with you. So don't feel guilty about cutting contact with him all together. And I mean going cold turkey. What you have obviously isn't that special, so don't waste anymore of your precious time on a man who's beyond grown and should know what he wants by now. For whatever reason what he wants isn't you, so find someone who does.
...............................
|
